Dude! Where's My Car?

Friday:
Me: Dude, where's my car? Oh forget it! I'm gonna sleep all day.

Saturday:
Me: Dude, where's my car?
Ali: Oh, I'm tired so I just went home.
Me: Uh. Well I have to go grocery shopping. Can you bring my car tomorrow?

Sunday: *Ali drives up. I'm pissed and waiting on the steps*
Me: Dude, where's my car!!!??!!!
Ali: Just get in.
Me: What the hell are you driving and where the hell is my car?!!??!!
Ali: Just get in and I'll explain.
Me: You crashed my car while I was gone didn't you?
Ali: Just get in. I just bought this. Get in.
Me: Dude! Where the hell is Lolita?!?!
Ali: Get in!
Me: Not until you tell me what the hell you've done with Lolita!
Ali: *parks* Just please get in.
Me: Nice ride. Congratulations.
Ali: Thanks.
Me: DUDE! WHERE IS LOLITA!?!
Ali: At the shop!
Me: Why?
Ali: Well...I parked it on the next street because I couldn't find parking here. And when I came back, the guy who had parked behind me...when he pulled out, he dented the bumper and the left tail light. So its being fixed and I'm taking care of it.
Me: *blink blink*
Ali: *silence*
Me: Well. I guess that's the reason I call her Lolita. That little slut. The second I leave town, she decides to get butt-fucked!