GAME ON!

"So, I went back to Maryland for the day yesterday. And I brought something back with me:

Tekken.

Therefore, I have exactly 3 words for you-

Bring It Bitch.

Love, -Husband"

(Tom)

Home. Where I wanted to go.

I miss home tonight. I'm homesick.
I miss Baba, Mom, Ammi, Shawn, Mari, Zesh, Sarvat, Sunny...I miss everyone tonight.
Its time to plan a trip to Arizona.

Nostalgia. 5 years ago.

Aw man! Nostalgia when I was watching the video to this song. We danced away on this song to Zeshan and Sarvat's wedding...all the siblings. It was their wedding dancing anthem. So much fun. I miss them all right now. I wish we were back at their wedding dancing away...

Say Shava Shava!

Hideously Hideous Sweater

What happens when you put two women who have no inside voice and filters in the same room? Let me give you lovely chickadees a taste of what its like when Kita and I are around each other.

We arrived at Zaytinya to meet Stefan, Kerry and Romy last night around 8 p.m. We proceeded to the bar area, which had people packed in there like sardines and loud music playing where Kita and I had to scream at each other to have a conversation. We were standing around the first table on the left keeping an eye on the door for Stefan. A blond sits down at the table, obviously waiting for someone. She was sitting right next to where we were standing.

About 10 minutes later a man walks in the door. This man had on an over-sized sweater with white triangles that went around the stomach area. Huge triangles. Kita and I saw him walk in and I screamed, "OH MY GAWD. THAT IS AN UGLY SWEATER'. Kita says, "YEA THAT THING IS HIDEOUS."

All of a sudden we notice that the man waves towards where we were standing. SHIT! He was there meeting the blond sitting at the table.

I turn towards Kita and all I hear her say is, 'And its now time to move to the other side." She starts walking away. I muttered a 'shit' under my breath and continued to follow her, ducking like I was a bandit on the run. We got to the other side, LAUGHING our asses off wondering if that blond heard us.

Classic classic classic moment!

Of course we pointed the hideous sweater guy out to the rest of the crew when the arrived. They concurred...it was, in fact, a hideously hideous (did I mention that it was hideous?) sweater.

Ah yes, Kita said she'll be back Feb. 8 weekend (if I decide not to go to NYC) and she and I are going sweater shopping.

*Grins*

...

I always listen to this song when I miss God.



ye zamiin jab na thii, ye jahaaN jab na thaa
chaaNd suraj na the, aasmaaN jab na thaa
raaz-e-haq bhii kisii par ayaaN jab na thaa
jab na thaa kuch yahaaN, thaa magar tuu hi tuu

The time when there was neither land nor the world
nor moon, sun or the sky,
[and] when truth was not known to anyone.
At that time there was nothing except you.

pahuNche meraaj meN arsh tak Mustafaa
jab na maabuud-o-bande meN pardaa rahaa
tab malaaik ne Hazrat se chhup kar kahaa
saarii maKhluuq meN haq-numaa tuu hii tuu

When Mustafa (another name of Prophet Muhammad) ascended to heavens
[and] when there was no veil between the master and the servant.
Then the angels said secretly to the Prophet
that of all the creations, only he was truth-like.

kyuuN piyaa ibn-e-Haider ne jaam-e-fanaa?
Khaal khichvaa’ii Tabrez ne kyuuN bhalaa?
daar par chaRh kar Mansoor ne kyaa kahaa?
sab banaa ke khilone rahaa tuu hii tuu

Why the son of Haider drank the cup of annihilation?
Why Tabrez agreed to be skinned alive?
What Mansoor said on the gallows?
After making all these toys, you remained the same.

Khaaliq-e-kul hai tuu ismeN kyaa guftuguu
saare aalam ko hai teri hi justujuu
teri jalvaagarii hai ayaaN chahaar-suu
laa shariikaa lahuu, maalik-e-mulk tuu

There is no argument that you are the master of all
[and] the whole world pines for you.
Your splendor is obvious everywhere
No one can be associated to you, you are the master of the world.

har shai tere jamaal kii aaiinaa-daar hai
har shai pukaartii hai tuu parvardigaar hai

Every creation reflect your glory
all creations chant that you are the Lord.

terii rabuubiyat kii adaa ko kamaal hai
tuu rabb-e-qaaynaat hai, tuu laa-zavaal hai

The beauty of your Lordship is perfect
you are the Lord of the Universe, you are without decline.

tuu jo har aan nayii shaan dikhaa detaa hai
diidaa-e-shauq ko hairaaan banaa detaa hai
Daalii Daalii terii takhliiq ke gun gaatii hai
pattaa pattaa terii qudrat kaa pataa detaa hai

You, the one who glows with new radiance every moment
[and] perplex the yearning eyes.
All the branches [of trees] sing praise of your creation
[and] all the leaves lead to your omnipotence.

laa ilaahaa terii shaan yaa! vaadahuu
tuu Khayaal-o-tajassus, tuu hii aarzuu
aaNkh kii roshnii, dil kii aavaaz
thaa bhii tuu, hai bhii tuu, hogaa bhii tuu

There is no one like you and that is your grandeur, O! the unique one
you are the imagination and inquisitiveness, you are the wish
you are the light [and] the voice of heart
you were there, you are there and you will be there.

--Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan--

Selfish

I can't stop crying. My heart aches today and I feel beaten down...so weary...so lost. She told me to give up. I refuse. When life beats me down like this all I can do is pray and hope that God listens. I'm such a selfish human being. I forget Him in good times, and only remember in my bad times. I hope He can forgive me for my selfishness...my eyes hurt.

2 Hour Phone Therapy with my Best Girl

I swear I had a life before you. I just can't remember what I did.
--Rubina--

I swear this girl and I were sisters in another life. I dreamt last night that she came back to D.C. I saw her same smug grin that she always has on her face whenever she walks to meet me at Starbucks. I missed her so much. I woke up so weary today...so sad. Then my phone rang early in the morning and I heard her familiar voice state simply, 'Sasha?' and all I could let out was, 'Oh my God, RUBINA!' ... We talked and talked and I just wanted to take her voice in. I cried and she comforted me like she always does. I told her I hadn't been to Sheesha Palace since I got back because it just doesn't feel right going there without her. She told me that she wishes more than anything we were sitting together talking away. She and I never run out of things to say. She told me that all she has been doing is shopping for me and her family to feel some sort of connection to people. I told her that I thought she forgot about me. Good God, did I get a yelling for that!

I told her that I hadn't seen her since December 18 and its almost February. How crazy is that? We would constantly talk about it but this is ridiculous. I told her that I feel so incomplete with her and my Mom and Grandma being so far away. My mom even sent me a text last night telling me she's ready to come back.

Its time for my women to come home...

Never...

...was there a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.

Cuteness...I think I love the nerd in him

I Loved Alone

From childhood's hour I have not been

As others were; I have not seen

As others saw; I could not bring

My passions from a common spring.

From the same source I have not taken

My sorrow; I could not awaken

My heart to joy at the same tone;

And all I loved, I loved alone.

--Edgar Allen Poe--

Song of the Month

How the Male and Female Species are Alike

"Honey, I carry a condom in my wallet all the time...you never know when you're gonna get lucky."
--female friend--

Happy Birthday Madiha

Bitches.. I organized all of you all's b'days.. so u better fucking come to mine... and pay me back for all the time and money I have spent pretending to be your friend. I have gotten many of you a lot of ass by introducing you to my single friends and if not that, you have had so much free booze on account of me.. and if not that.. I have always manned up even on my laziest night to paint the town red with you assholes.. so if you still want your nuts attached to your body and if you don't want to me to set u on fire... [End 0f Quote] - Madiha. 4:33pm Sunday, Janurary 13th 2008.

(Evite sent out for Madiha's birthday to everyone)

Ben

I stepped out of the train in a horrible mood. I was angry at everybody around me, even the faces I encountered at every stop. I hated them and wanted to tell them why I hated them...but alas, I kept walking. I was taking deep breaths because I knew I would start crying soon. I was dreading walking in that office. I hated the first week filled with snooty attitude and belittling. I hated her and I hated that I had to see her or run into her again. A co-worker had assured me that half of the office felt that way about her and that I wasn't delusional in my assessment of her. Still, I'm not good at confrontations. I hate them and I avoid them and I lose sleep if I've had one and I lose sleep if I know I'm going to have one. I hate them. I hate it, hate it, hate it.

I walked towards the escalator and saw a woman with a walker asking those around her if there was an elevator. She had short snow white hair that had been set in rollers and styled by the hairstylist she went to once a week. Her shoulders were probably too weak to fix her own hair. She was wearing a purple suit and had white joggers and my heart went out to her. I remembered all the sweet old ladies who used to come to my Mom's salon. I loved them. I wanted to hear their stories. I used to ask them how they had met their husbands. I wanted to know how long they were married to the same man. I wanted to know how many kids they had and what they are up to now. I wanted to know where they had traveled. I used to ask them everything and hug them on the way out, excited that I'd get to see them again in a week and continue the conversation. My heart ached for this woman and I just wanted to help her. I wanted to ask her what I could do for her and help her find an elevator.

But I didn't do anything. Like those around me, I just kept walking. I justified it by thinking to myself: Why should I do anything for anyone in this town when nobody has ever done anything for me. Why should I take the time to help someone? I don't owe anyone anything just like nobody owes me anything.

At that moment, I hated myself.

I went to the office and continued my day. Thinking of that lady and wondering if anyone ever stopped to help her. I kept telling myself what a jerk I was and that I should have stopped to help her. I was quiet all day and just wanted to go home.

I finally left at 5 and couldn't wait to walk in my room and get in my pajamas and watch T.V. until it was time to sleep. Another bad day in the Capitol for me and I couldn't wait for it to end, and tomorrow to begin. I put my ipod buds in my ears to drown out the world around me and get lost in some music therapy. I walked to the intersection of 19th and M, towards the Dupont Circle Metro.

I was just halfway in a song, waiting for the light to turn green when I felt a tap on my arm. I looked to my left to see a man, who appeared to be blind, standing there with a cane, looking straight ahead and yet, talking to me. I took my ear buds out to hear what he was saying to me.

Me: Excuse me?
Him: Can you please tell me when the light turns green.
Me: Sure.

I told him when it was time to go. He started walking next to me with his cane. Next thing I knew he had his hand on my shoulder, using me as his guide to cross.

Me: Watch out for the sidewalk.
Him: Thank you.

We continued walking.

His name is Ben and he works for the Special Olympics in Dupont Circle. He lives in Rockville, MD.

Me: Rockville's nice. My friend just moved there, she loves it.
Him: I wouldn't know, I can never find it.
Me: *mental crickets*

I didn't know whether to laugh or not. I waited for him to chuckle, and then I giggled. We continued chatting all the way to the metro. We approached the metro escalators and I told him that we're going to get on the escalator in the middle. He followed me. I got on the escalator first and he was standing on the step behind me. I felt him reach over and touch my head and run his hand on my ponytail. I smiled to myself thinking that if it were anyone else doing that, I would've karate chopped them already, since I don't like anyone but my grandmother to touch my hair. I could tell Ben was curious about who I was or what I looked like. I was immediately embarrassed at the state of my hair, which resembled the state of my mind.

Me: Sorry, I didn't do my hair today, so its a messy ponytail.

Ben just laughed. I told him the escalator was ending. We continued to walk.

Ben: This is where we part. You go left, I go right.
Me: Yep.
Ben: Thank you for your help.
Me: No problem. Next time you're out and about and you hear a girl obnoxiously screaming, 'BEN'... that's me.
Ben: Okay. You stay out of trouble, okay?
Me: I'll try.

He hugged me and we parted.

I got in the train. I was sitting there thinking of what had just happened. I smiled to myself and thought how funny it was that no matter how bad this city has been to me for the last year-and-a-half, no matter how much I’ve cried, no matter how much I’ve been tested, no matter how angry I might get…God just won’t let me be a bad person. I was reminded of the heart I really have. I will never again forget to be kind to those in need.

You just won’t let me be a bad person, will you God? I kept repeating over and over again.

I let the tears finally flow, not caring if anyone was looking at me.

His Classic Quotes of the Night

"The night Dodd dropped out, I got rip roaring drunk in the office and woke up the next morning huddled in a corner with Dodd stickers all over me."

"I crashed the campaign car...yea that sucked...I backed it into an Obama staffers' car."

"Too bad he left the campaign. Told me it was a pleasure working with me and all that. I think he mostly liked me because he thought you and I were sleeping together. Of course I had *NOTHING* to do with that rumor. He thought that I was sleeping with all the interns...I still don't know *WHERE* he *EVER* got that idea from?!"

"I'm glad you made it back safe. I couldn't let anything happen to my arm candy."

Him: I don't know why men don't pick up on you. If I were them I'd be putting ruffies in your drink left and right.
Me: *blink blink*
Him: Well drink up! I haven't got all day!

Rubina

I last saw my sister from another sperm on December 18, 2007 when she drove me to the airport. Of course we were stuck in hellish traffic for about an hour and a half, thankful that we left incredibly early...sang at the top of our voices to Bollywood songs...belly-danced in our seats, which made almost every person in a car that drove by stare at us like we were two girls on speed; we didn't give a shit. We never give a shit what others think, or how loud we laugh, or what we're saying when we're together.

She is my sister. She is my best friend. She is my sanity. She is my philosopher. She is the rhyme and reason that I am still sane in this crazy city. "I will sit on you if you ever tell me you are leaving D.C. I have no idea how I'm going to explain that to my husband, but I will just sit on you so you won't be able to move," she told me when I mentioned to her that I was ready to give up and leave.

Her plane took her to Hong Kong the same day mine brought me to the States. I stepped in the Capitol and she stepped in her hotel on the other side of the globe from me. She won't be back until the end of February.

I am starting to go insane.

I have seen her and spoken to her almost every single day since the day we met. I have gone out for a cup of coffee with her at Starbucks almost every single day. I have spoken to her through every single mode of communication possible. I have stared at hot men with her.

"How U doin?!"

"ooOOOOooh A Man!"

I actually miss the way she rolls her eyes at me and says, "GOOD LORD!"

I would give anything to see her do the *whistles* *twirls finger* that she gives to anyone she thinks is a little cookoo in the head.

I don't even feel like having sheesha right now without her.

Me: You do realize that I'm a little co-dependent on you?
Her: Yea me too.

We are best friends.
We are sisters.
We cry together.
We laugh together.
We disagree together.
We forget about the disagreement the second we see each other.

She gives me her accessories when I need those perfect heels or that perfect clutch for a hot date. She and I will drive around listening to music blaring out of her car pretending like we're 16 again instead of women well in their 30's. I honestly think she is the only person on this planet that I can truly be ... just myself ... with and I know she gets me. Others have spent time with me and haven't gotten me, or still criticize me, but she and I think we must've been sisters in another life because we just understand each other and are so much alike. I've seen tears in her eyes when I've cried. I can't help but cry when I see her cry.

My heart is a little weary today and I wish she was a phone call or a metro ride or a car drive away so I could just sit and chat with her about what's bothering me. I wish she was around to share her wise words with me and comfort me with her presence. That same presence which reminds me that everything will be fine. I wish she was here so that I could just hug her.

She is the only one who understands my vulnerabilities. I need my friend right now.

I miss Rubina.

Sisters

Mari: Ok don't tell Shawn, but I looked at all the pictures and I swear he looks like a younger Kakka. Don't tell him, for the little one will panic.

Sashi: He looks like Papa...and Kakka looks like Papa..therefore he looks like Kakka...joys of being family...we all freakin' look alike...Daddy's sister saw me and said that I looked exactly like Daddy's mom...as do you...which is why you and I look alike. Well, that and...we're sisters.

Mari: You must be the much more refined version, for I suck.

Sashi: Ummm...I'm older...therefore I sag more.

Jay and Heather (Continued)

I just got a message from Jay. Heather told him she loved him. I can't help but gloat and be happy that I was Jay's relationship therapist during that time (yea.. i know, you all can stop laughing now)...but it worked. It really really worked! He actually followed my advice and listened to me and it WORKED, and now they are happy and in love, and I'm so glad that I helped with that!

*crickets chirping*

If they don't invite me to the wedding, I'm going to poke their eyes out with a fork.

Friends...

...will pick you up from the airport at one in the morning, no matter how far away it may be.

...will call you the next day and just by the sound of you voice, go to the pharmacy to get your medication and bring you soup and cough drops and visit with you.

...will text you to ask if you are back in the country and then reply, 'I feel better now.'

I am truly blessed and I thank God for the friends I have in this city.When I walked in my room at 3 a.m. after my trip, I felt so alone. I realize right now, that I am not alone, and that I am surrounded by love and this trip brought out the people who truly care for me and made me realize that I am loved.

Thank You God for the wonderful friends you have given me.