2007

Lets see what you will have in store for me.

My hairpins

mutated, grew legs, got up and walked away.

Sleep

i'm sleepy. yes. i know. i have circles under my eyes. i look rough. i can see a huge difference in my pictures from my first week here during christmas lunch with baba's office staff and pictures during dinner out with the family and yesterday's pictures from eid. my eyes are puffy and i look so tired. it's been two week since i've had full night's sleep. my eid pictures show it. i'm tired.i'm always sleepy. i just woke up. i'll have my cup of coffee. i'll take my pill. And in about 15 mintues i'll be sleepy again.

Monkey

Me: Oh I'm sorry Mr. Monkey. I made you lose a button.
Monkey: Gives me a disturbed look.
Zeshan: Oh are you upset? Did we upset you?
Mom: Don't worry. There's someone here to cure all your needs if something's bothering you. If you need mental help, she can cure it. If you need them to be sued, he can do it. If you need it revealed to the public, she can do it. If you need it invested, she can do it. If you need it cut out, he can do it. Tell me what you need. We all can help you.

Faith

I went for Eid prayer today. I stood next to my mother like I always do. I love that. In the past, I've always found myself overwhelmed during the prayer. Everyone around the world praying at the same time. It was powerful to me. I would find myself crying. But today I just stood there. Silent. Stone faced. Apathetic. I have always been told that if I remember God he will remember me. I always remember him. I always pray. He doesn't listen. He doesn't remember me.


Me: I've lost faith.
Grandma: I know you have.

Ugh!

Splitting Headache.

I love you so much Mom

"All the people and nurses in the office had to talk to me, take me aside and calm me down when I read your report from the neurologist today."

bloody hell

i wish i could sleep

Fall

...just give me a moment to fall...

2007

I'm terrified. So incredibly terrified. For so many reasons I can't write about or say outloud to *anyone*... I'm absolutely positively petrified.

Woke up this morning

with this song as my soundtrack today.

"It seems that all that was good has died and is decaying in me."

Loved it

It's amazing how much I got to think today on the long drive. How much I got to notice. How much I got to realize. How much I got to...listen to others and my heart. It was 5 years ago. I was a little scared. It's time I did something about it. I saw signs everywhere. I tried to ignore them but I couldn't. I was envious yesterday. I felt bad that I was but for the first time ever, I felt envious. And I was not ashamed of it. So I just prayed and cried. I found out today and my heart ached for her so for about 10 minutes or so I tried to hide my tears from them in the car. It was so hard. I couldn't help but feel her pain. My heart just ached for her. I loved talking today. All day just talking to them. Not listening to my ipod, but just talking to them. Listening to their stories and talking about their worries. My grandmother's father worked with the British in India. Her uncle worked as a county assessor and her other uncle had his own property. The other uncle had his own business. After the partition in 1947 they all left without their government pensions and started all over again. I have been to Uganda and been on Lake Victoria. When President Zia-ul-Haq visited Kenya, his clothes were all dirty and ratted and they were washed and ironed at my grandparents' house. The Ambassador asked them to please keep it hush hush. I loved talking to Grandma and Baba today. I loved it. Absolutely loved it.

Whitewater

The last time I thought of you was 5 years ago. The last time I saw you was 20 years ago in Indio, CA. Where all the white fans are. Where the truck was stuck. Where I accidently left you. I loved holding you and had felt so safe with you around. I remember how sad I was when we drove off and I told them that you were left behind and nobody went back for you. How sad I was when I knew that I'd never see you again. Everytime we are heading to California and we drive by that place, I look over and glance to where I forgot you and remember you and I am a kid in the car again. Pound puppy you're my one and only love.

...

I would love to except nobody ever asked.

Withdrawls

Mom: You must miss D.C.
Me:::: Now that you mention it. I love you guys but I'm having serious D.C. withdrawls.

Only my friend Shaista would...

Walk up to me in front of everyone and start running her hand up and down my butt and say, "I'm so glad you have an ass now compared to the last time I saw you. Walking around in DC must do you good. You now have an Ump-pa-doomp."

I'm so funny sometimes

"Professor Smith, Before I start this final, I'd like to apologize for it in advance."
--Me

"They're so...little."

I walk into Chucky Cheese to wait for the birthday party people to arrive. Of course, being the anal retentive Virgo that I am; I got there before anyone. I walked into chaos of children running around everywhere, their parents chasing them and loud noises from the mini kid rides filling the place. The lady at the door tells me to go ahead and go to the table but I decided to stay by the front. Standing there stiff, uneasy and not knowing what to do with myself in this situation. I thought about my siblings and how if they were here with me, they wouldn't care how old they were and would start getting tokens to start playing with the rest of the lot. I called my sister-in-law and told her this to which she said, "You are *so* right. That's totally what we'd do." I saw the cutest....cutest...cutest little boy walking one way and looking another with drool all over his face. He's walking and walks right into someone's legs, composes himself and keeps walking without even batting an eyelash. I couldn't stop giggling at what had just happened. He was so incredibly adorable. I think he was 2 years old. Then I see this woman dragging her screaming kid, picking him up and basically holding him upside down with all his wins at Chucky Cheese in her hand. She had such a hard time showing the kids' stamp to the lady at the front so the management could make sure the right parent leaves with the right kid. I could tell that kid did not want to go home. She basically dragged her screaming child out the door.

The birthday party arrived. In walks my neice, who I was meeting for the first time. My friend tells her, "That's Auntie Sasha." In her cutest 3-year-old voice she runs to me and screams, "AUNTIE SASHA. TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!" I picked her up and hugged her and carried her back to her birthday table. Of course, being the proud Aunt that I am, I immediately started taking pictures of the kids. Then we all sang and danced with the Chucky Cheese mascot and the fake character "musicians" that were on stage. I couldn't believe I was actually dancing at Chucky Cheese to help the excitememt of four 3-year-olds.

We then proceeded to be assigned one kid per person as we took them to the play area. I was walking around looking for my friend when she walks up to me and says, "I can tell you don't have a kid. You forgot about the one you were supposed to watch." To which I let out a giant, "OH SHIT WHERE DID HE GO? THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME!" Short and cute and all screaming and running around. I can't tell you how many times I almost got ran over by 2-5 year olds.

I bent down to give a two-year-old who arrived later her balloon. I say to her, "Now make sure you hold on to it." She looks at me and gives me a sly smile and then slowly starts to let go of the string. I dived to catch it before it floated away to the ceiling, falling on my face as I did that. The two-year-old lets go of the string, points at me and laughs as she walks away. I was left on the floor holding a balloon with everyone laughing at me, including myself.

I think I had just gotten punked by a two-year-old.

It took us forever to grab the kids and walk out the door to leave. As I stood there with one at the door, I saw the mother of the two-year-old trying to peel her off one of the car rides. I see the other 3-year-olds runnning ahead of my friend and jumping on some ride. They obviously didn't want to leave. We get to the front and I say to the lady checking to see if the stamps on all our hands matched, "Oh no no no. I came in alone and I'm leaving alone."

I was in a great mood nonetheless when I left there. Amazing how being around kids can put one in a jolly mood. To be young and carefree again...I tell ya, 3-year-olds have it made.

Spoiled Spoiled Spoiled Washingtonians

Ali: *blink* *blink*
Me: What?
Ali: How do we get to the hotel? It's an hour from the airport and there's no shuttle.
Me: Uhhhhhh. Taxi? That will be a lot for an hours' drive though...we can rent a car...
Ali: hmmmm. No metro here either eh?
Me: Yea, I miss the metro right now.
Ali: *blink blink* *silence* *crickets chirp* *looking around*
Me: *blink blink* *silence* *crickets chirp* *looking around*
Me: For God's sake! Lets stop acting like we've landed on another planet!

Classic

Me: Nice to meet you.
He: Nice hardware.
Me: Excuse me?
He: Nose ring. Nice nose ring.