I luuuuvvvvvvvvv youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

InTriGue89: how are u?

WrOngdOerZ: i'm ok. one day at a time. i'm strong.

InTriGue89: thank God for that strength of urs

InTriGue89: did my words of encouragement help [flashes cheesy smile]

WrOngdOerZ: they always do. why do you think i turn to you when i need them?

InTriGue89: i have faith in u sash like i have Faith in God. you can do anything!

WrOngdOerZ: i'm the godfather but when the godfather needs a kick in the butt..i turn to you

InTriGue89: i'm robin. i'm the sidekick. one day u shall crown me knight. and i too will become a godfather. [angels chant]

WrOngdOerZ: you are my knight

WrOngdOerZ: i love you my baby doll.

InTriGue89: mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa [kisses computer screen]

WrOngdOerZ: my supermodel with a heart of gold!

InTriGue89: we're so leechy with each other!!!!!!

InTriGue89: ahahah i swear to God

InTriGue89: I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WrOngdOerZ: i misssssssssssss youuuuuuuuuuu

InTriGue89: i missssssssssssssssssss u!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WrOngdOerZ: i wish we were on the bus to St. Andrews right now

WrOngdOerZ: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

InTriGue89: u've no idea

InTriGue89: i miss u! i love u!

InTriGue89: goodnight beauty

WrOngdOerZ: love you!

WrOngdOerZ: night

InTriGue89: oh man i love u!

How Grad Students Do It

WrOngdOerZ: what's up?

ellinitha16: I was told growing up was beautiful girls like your self would be fallen angels.... but never believed it until I bumped into you. I always thought angels landed over some Greek island but you happen to land in Michigan! At this moment I aspire to find to find out more about you and wonder how your smile lit up my life.

WrOngdOerZ: hmmmmmmmmmmm

WrOngdOerZ: who sent it?

ellinitha16: this guy I dont know

WrOngdOerZ: where did he send it?

ellinitha16: my e-mail

WrOngdOerZ: seriously? how does he know you?

WrOngdOerZ: well you DO have a very endearing smile

ellinitha16: evidently he saw a picture of me on detroit greeks

WrOngdOerZ: does he seem creepy? why the sweet talk the first time?

ellinitha16: i dont know

WrOngdOerZ: i'm cautious....be careful

ellinitha16: yeah. exactly

WrOngdOerZ: be VERY VERY careful

ellinitha16: i just saw it and was like woah

ellinitha16: how about hi

WrOngdOerZ: i prefer..hi i'm blah blah ... and i was wondering if you'd like to grab a cup of coffee sometimes?

WrOngdOerZ: i'm more of that kind of girl

WrOngdOerZ: i tend to favor realism rather than the ideological babble when it comes to matters of being romanced

WrOngdOerZ: whoa! I can tell i'm talking to you and working on a paper at the same moment

Christina

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

There must have been an angel whispering in your ear today. You have no idea how much I needed your friendship and your support.Thank you. I love you and miss you.

...

People see me
I'm a challenge to your balance
I'm over your heads how I confound you
and astound you to know
I must be one of the wonders
Of God's own creation
And as far as you see you can offer me
No explanation

I believe
Fate smiled at destiny
Laughed as she came to my cradle
Know this child will be able
Laughed as she came to my mother
Know this child will not suffer
Laughed as my body she lifted
Know this child will be gifted
With love, with patience and with faith
She'll make her way

She'll make her way
She'll make her way

--Natalie Merchant--
Wonder

Tears

We need never be ashamed of our tears.

--Charles Dickens--

Great Expectations

Fear

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear love are already three parts dead.

--Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

...About Yours Truly...

If heaven made (her), earth can find some use for (her).

--Chinese Proverb--

Ammi

"Sha Ji, haven't heard your voice in a long time *click*.

That's the sweetest voice mail in the world to me. It makes me grin and I feel butterflies in my belly and all warm and cozy. Especially when I call back and hear the excitement in Grandma's voice after she picks up the phone and I simply say, "Ammi." And she'll excitedly says "Shaaaaaaaaaa.".

That's what Ammi calls me. That's what she's called me since the day I was born. I have never heard her say my full name, even to others she'll refer to me as 'Sha.' That nickname of mine is so incredibly special to me that only Ammi has dibs on it. I called Ammi tonight and when she picked up the phone, I simply said: I am so thankful to God to have you, mom and Baba in my life every single day.

I miss Ammi. I can't wait to see her. I can't wait to watch cheesy Bollywood movies with her. I can't wait to watch cheesy shows with her. I can't wait to be in the kitchen cooking up a storm with her. I can't wait to just spend the day relaxing out with Ammi and being silly.

...

"Something is different about you. I can't put my finger on it and I know that I haven't seen you in a long time. But just by your voice, your tone; its different. It's in what you're saying, and in everything you're not saying."
--friend--

Tekken

I miss playing Tekken! Devil Jin is my guy. He's the character I always pick. I love Devil Jin. If he was alive, I'd so be all over him.

Madiha

Me: Sorry I didn't join you all. I was on benadryl and recovering from an allergic reaction.
Madiha: Well, make sure you don't pull a blowfish on me again.

One day

And one day someone will appreciate my memory of when I was young and I used to dance with Rekha while she danced on the big screen in my grandparents' living room in Karachi which was beautifully decorated with gorgeous rugs and paintings and vases from places like Kenya, Uganda, Singapore, Hong Kong and Jeddah...If I close my eyes, I can still see that room now.

One day.

Someone will want to hear about my good memories.

Foreign Policy

U.S.-India-China relations.
China-India Relations.
Japan-China Relations.
U.S-Japan Relations.
U.S.-India Relations.
U.S.-China Relations.
U.S.-Pakistan Relations.
India-Pakistan Relations.
Pakistan-China Relations.

Taiwan?
OoOOoops. Did I say the 'T' word?

Know it.
Love it.
Breathe it.
Live it.

Dumb Fvcks (cont'd)

"WHAT THEY REALLY THINK: Wow, I wish I was motivated and hard-working enough to do all of that. And she's hotter than me too? Well, I have to say something to make myself feel better."
--Lindsey--

Dumb Fvcks

WHAT THEY SAY: So? You collecting degrees?
WHAT I SAY: *shrug* haha. I guess.
WHAT I'M REALLY THINKING: No dumb fuck. I actually have a plan.. Why don't you just ask me what it is instead of belittling all my hard work with a sarcastic comment like that which shows me how ignorant you really are.

The End.

Headache!

splitting. splitting. headache. i feel like my right eye is going to pop out of my head. i'm sick of my imitrex shots not working...i'm going to have the doctor call in the nose inhaler medicine instead so I no longer have to throw up for 12 hours and live through a headache for over 24 hours without any medicine again like i did the last time I had a migraine.

I'm not throwing up today. my head just really hurts and its all on the right side of my head including my shoulder. i am trying to get rid of my headache by the usual measures of aleve and tying my orange cloth belt around my head as tight as I can for pressure but its not working. its getting worse which means it will be a full-fledged migraine in a bit and i will have no choice but to turn to my zomig.

I hate this. I truly truly really hate this.

absolutely sick and tired of this.

Josh and Tom

I love you two very much and am thankful to have you two in my life each and every day. Thank you for today. I love you.

Classics of The Day

(E-Mail sent by Madiha Yesterday)

Yeah.. so it's valentines day tommorow... and we all have hot dates... but i am ditching my romantic cruise and candlelight dinner with George Clooney because something even better has come up...Alex is finally turning 13!! Yayyy... welcome to teenage love baby!!

We are all meeting at Cafe Citron after work... their happy hour starts at 4pm... but we wont make it there until 6 or 7... and we might move on to another place thereafter... so come by and be Alex's valentine...

lovies,

Madiha

(After non-stop exchanges and non-stop birthday wishes and hitting 'send all', we get this e-mail from Madiha)

"Ok.. so I am an idiot and forgot to include Alex on this email..."




"Not just your eyes, but your lips too!! I love those lips. Not that I'm being superficial; your brain is WAY sexy too."
--Mike--

"Are we getting a full Korean War history now? Seriously! The history channel called, it wants its programing back."
--Scott, chatting with me on G-Mail chat during class--

Now That's How It Should Be Done

"After 5 mintues of deciding, I drove to Michigan this weekend and surprised Maureen. It was a phenominal weekend."
--Mike--

Oh Holy Craving Batman!

I really really really truly want Oreo cookies right now! Oreo cookies dipped in a glass of ice cold 2% milk. Preferably with a hot man feeding them to me. That would be fabulous-o right now. The cookies. I'm still talking about the cookies.
So if you could please just knock on my bat-cave with a huge glass of ice cold 2% milk and a box of Oreo cookies...that would be lovely...just lovely. Just do what I tell you and never question a woman and her cravings. I'm still talking about the cookies and milk.



Thank you for understanding the obviously obvious.

I Miss You, Shawn

Shawn should be getting this in the mail in 5-8 days. Because I'm such a good sister like that.

I Need A Reading Break

It is currently 75 degrees in Gilbert, Arizona.

I am at the Cyber Cafe at AU and still have the lingering headache that I woke up with this morning. The one Zomig I took earlier has taken the edge off my headache but still not helped; the pressure is still there. My eyes are sensitive because of my headache and hurt even more today because of the wind and cold. They sting and are very puffy. I look like I've been crying all day when in fact I'm just in a lot of pain.

Currently on Chapter 2 of Impossible Allies: Nuclear India United States and the Global Order by C. Raja Mohan. Hungry and waiting for Jessie to call me so I can take the Metro to Friendship Heights to meet the crew...for a *very* short time to say hello because I said I'd be there. I have a constant ache in my shoulders thanks to my headache. I am currently yawning and wishing I was in bed in my jammies. I should just excuse myself and go home...

I'm giving myself 25 more minutes and if my phone doesn't ring...

I'm heading home.

On the other hand...

I'm going to treat myself to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner.

Why?

Because I want to dammit!
Right now there's a very satisfied girl having a delicious meal finishing it off with their Apple Dutch Cheesecake. Oh my goodnesssss. Yes.

I'll sit there alone if I have to...I'll have Raja Mohan wooing me with his tales of the US-India Nuclear deal events 2001-05. There we go. That's what I'll do. It will be my anti-valentine's day valentine's day present to myself. I'll even buy myself yellow roses on the way home.

There we go. Two things that make me happy.

Cheesecake Factory and Yellow Roses.

My night is complete.

'Fvck Valentine's Day' Get Together

Yoomie: Saturday night all the way! I'm bringing my own blankey and pillow.
Me: I'm coming ready to spend the night with my favorites!
Madiha: Just waiting for an ok from Neeraj... he said he will confirm tommorow.
Yoomie: Ok from Neeraj? He will be joining the pussy party?
Me: That will be so hot...Neeraj is the only man i will put up with ....oh, and Josh and Tom.
Madiha: That and Alex. He's coming also.
Yoomie: Oh goody. Surrounded by three hot gay men...and Neeraj.
Madiha: I swear.. you two individually are maniacs..you two combined.. OMG.. a disaster!

Yoomie: Ah. The kettle calling the teapots black...
Me: Who two are you talking about Madiha ha?
Yoomie: She's talking about us, Sasha, us the teapots.
Me: Yoomie and me combined equals a YuUUuuuuMMMMmmy combination. Wanna make it a threesome?
Yoomie: Btw, in terms of movies for the slumber party, I have: (1) Derailed,
(2) The Weather Man, and (3) Conversations with other Women.
Me: I have fifth element...oh wait, nevermind...I have In&Out.
Yoomie: Woman, fifth element has that hot red head with Bruce Willis in it...who kisses in the end.
Madiha: I have cheesy bollywood films to add to the mix!
Me: NO WAY! They all end up being the sterotypical stupid love movie...this is anti-romance, anti-love, anti-men (well except Josh, Tom, Alex and Neeraj and the rest of the Nepali Mafia) Fuck Valentine's Day get together...
Madiha: The guys are all in!

Tuesday's Deep and Not So Deep Thoughts

--I've been craving seafood so bad lately. I have to find a seafood restaurant. I don't care what happens afterwards. I don't care how much my face or ear itches or swells up. I must go. I must have seafood.

--Why can't the Pakistani Ambassador have the public speaking skills of the Indian Ambassador? Ours sounds like a passive dud. I swear!

--I need new black gloves and a hairdryer because my hair is wet when I leave my bat-cave.

--You know it's brrrr cold outside when you have this exchange with a random person:
Person: Good Morning Miss.
Me: Morning. How are you?
Person: Fine. How are you?
Me: I can't feel my ears.

--I made a new friend at the Indian Foreign Policy event. She loves Bollywood movies and music. I can't wait to tell Sarvat that I found a gori girl who has a PhD in Bollywood like her.
Her: I'll make you a CD of all the bollywood songs.
Me: *Blink Blink*
Her: Sorry. I'm just so excited to talk about this to someone who knows what I'm talking about that its all bursting out at the same time.

--Having big eyes is a hazard in this cold and windy weather.
More surface area = More leaking and pain

--I think here's the look I have on my face when I walk to the metro:
I hate this wretched heinous weather and I'm all bundled up with my heavy bag on my shoulder with my headphones from the ipod in my ears with my gloves on with a Pashmina wrapped around my neck where I feel like Uncle Fester from 'The Adams Family' with the left ear headphone that never wants to stay in my ear because I seriously think the left ear is bigger than the right one with my eyes and ears running all the while I'm trying not to lose the kleenex in my hand while balancing the bag and the ipod and the headphones at the same time. How much more of a I'm-miserable-at-this-very-moment look can I have?

--I have no energy or desire whatsoever to get on a bus and go to NYC this coming weekend. Benedetta is just gonna have to wait because its too damn cold for me to leave this city or even make an attempt to do anything remotely productive except taking the metro to be at a certain location.

--I should be reading and doing my work right now but TBS and the upcoming episode of Sex in the City has me completely distracted. I have come to the conclusion that it is virtually impossible for me to do any work in my bat-cave.

--I love it when Josh speaks Urdu to me. Its so cool to have someone else to gossip with in Urdu. ESPECIALLY a gora boy! So cool!

--Sasha is moving to a nun convent with Yoomie in South America. Please mail oreo cookies by the boxloads. Thanks.

--Yoomie is moving to a nun convent with Sasha in South America. Please include tons of batteries in that mail package.

--I can't wait till the family trip to Saudi Arabia and Jordan in March.

"Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow."
(Alex's away message and my inspiration for the moment)

Tradition

Here's the conversation that takes place every time I need to buy butter and am at the grocery store:

Me: *Dials Sarvat's Number While Staring At Butter*
Sarvat: Hello
Me: I need to buy butter.
Her: HaHa
Me: Say it. Just say it.
Her: *British Accent* I cAUn't belIEve it's nOUt buTTa.
Me: Thank You. *Picks up I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and puts it in cart*

Classic Of The Day

Tap that bitch of a machine's ass one last time for me.
--Shawn, after I told him I was selling Lolita--

Dream

To dream that you suddenly discover your nudity and are trying to cover up, signifies your vulnerability to a situation.

To dream that you are attending or going to a dance, indicates a celebration and your attempts to achieve happiness. Consider the phrase the "dance of life" which suggests creation, ecstasy, and going with what life has to offer you.

To see a snake or be bitten by one in your dream, signifies hidden fears and worries that are threatening you. Your dream may be alerting you to something in your waking life that you are not aware of or that has not yet surfaced. The snake may also be seen as phallic and thus symbolize dangerous and forbidden sexuality. The snake may also refer to a person around you who is callous, ruthless, and can't be trusted. As a positive symbol, snakes represent transformation, knowledge and wisdom. It is indicative of self-renewal and positive changes.

To see stars in your dream, symbolize high ideals, spirit, fate and luck. It also signifies your desire for fame and fortune.

To have a blurry dream, indicates that there is something you are not confronting or refusing to see. It also represents secrets and confusion. Perhaps you think that someone is trying to keep something from you.

To see mountains in your dream, signifies many major obstacles and challenges that you have to overcome. If you are on top of the mountain, then it signifies that you have achieved and realized your goals. Alternatively, mountains denotes a higher realm of consciousness, knowledge, and spiritual truth.

To dream that you are riding a roller coaster, signifies that you are experiencing erratic behavior brought on by yourself or a situation. You are experiencing frequent ups and downs in your waking life.

(http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/)

**I was running trying to catch up to someone and I was only in a white towel. I was trying to cover myself with that towel. I then was lying down, covered in the towel leaning on someone and he was running his hands through my hair to comfort me. I remember at that time during my sleep feeling peace. I then saw my mother and brother dancing. Then my mother was dancing with the snake and as the snake slithered away I gave it a smile and blew it a kiss. I could tell it looked at me with fondness also as it backed away. I was then on the top of a mountain with some people and I was looking up and I saw the stars and I kept complaining to my mom that they were blurry. Then we rode on a roller coaster back down the mountain.**

Gatorade

Me: Here.Give me me your e-mail address.
John: It's ***** at yahoo dot com
Me: *typing*
John: Wait you typed it wrong, it's yahoo dot cum.

*John and I had no reaction*
*Madiha was laughing so hard Gatorade came out of her nose*

Destroying DC with Madiha

Madiha: Come with me to the festival before we go out. I have to spend quality time with you. Drunk people take me away from you.
Me: If it's not the drunk people. then its the gay men we're always making out with.

You Know You Live in DC when...

Dear You,

Every time I look at this picture of you, I want to cry. I wish I could go back as me right now and find you and hold you and comfort you and cry for you and tell you that your life will be different than it has been. I'm so sorry to disappoint you.

Love,

Me

Me, According to Miron

About Sasha: "Men who don't like girls with brains don't like girls," wrote Mignon McLaughlin in The Second Neurotics Notebook back in 1966. The same is true today! Lois Wyse put it even better when she said that "Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths." But, perhaps, what can best describe Sasha is a quote by Anaïs Nin: "I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman."

--Miron--

Walk

It was nice to just walk around with Koko and enjoy the city today and clear my head. I realized that I hadn't walked on the National Mall in a very long time. I have promised myself today that I will do that at least once a week (not this week, it's supposed to get down to 10 degrees this weekend). I introduced Koko to my mostest favoritest museum. Actually they all are my mostest favoritest. But I love that one because I find it to be the most peaceful. I love Whistler's paintings that are on display there also. I love to stare at the deliberate brush strokes of his work. I love how it flows.

It was nice to walk. It was nice to breathe. It was nice to enjoy the city. It was nice to just clear my head. It was nice to think. It was nice to vent to a friend who listened. It was nice to admit my faults and weaknesses without being judged. It was nice to show my imperfections to a friend without being criticized. It was nice to bare my soul to a friend. It was nice to breath. It was nice to just walk.

Thank you Koko.

Dream

Rain

If you dream of sitting at a window and watching a storm with blowing rain it is a sign that you will be blessed with true love in your present relationship. To dream of a clear day with sparkling rain shows that you will soon have an in pouring of good luck, but if you are caught in a severe rainstorm and get soaking wet that is the sign of amassing great wealth, perhaps through an inheritance.

My two FAVORITE guys in DC!

HeresUrSign4: honey i miss you!
WrOngdOerZ: tom, i am jealous of that pic on facebook of that woman with you.
HeresUrSign4: i wish it were you.

WrOngdOerZ: you liar

WrOngdOerZ: you sweet talker.

WrOngdOerZ: you cheeky monkey.

HeresUrSign4: no i swear

WrOngdOerZ: promise to make out with me next time I see you?

HeresUrSign4: you have my word.

WrOngdOerZ: i mean who in their right ming could resist me? right?

WrOngdOerZ: well...except, one that I know of...
HeresUrSign4: no one who is sane, thats what i say!
HeresUrSign4: josh is here
HeresUrSign4: josh here! I miss you!
WrOngdOerZ: I MISS YOU!
HeresUrSign4: we need to go out. this semester is sucking already. so, fuck academia.
HeresUrSign4: tom here. my boyfriend seems to be a lip slut.
HeresUrSign4: he made out with madiha and my friend dan.

WrOngdOerZ: i'm jealous.

WrOngdOerZ: if i had to pick between dan or tom. i'd pick tom for sure.
HeresUrSign4: i'd pick you too honey.

WrOngdOerZ: and josh to kiss my neck again and be apathetic about it like he was that night. haha.
HeresUrSign4: i'd pick you too.

WrOngdOerZ: you two sure know how to fool a gal.
HeresUrSign4: i miss you =(
HeresUrSign4: we need to hang out soon.
HeresUrSign4: SO WE CAN MAKE OUT AGAIN!
HeresUrSign4: we need to go but we'll talk to you later.

WrOngdOerZ: *kisses*

Like a Bookcase

I love my bookcase(s) outside in the living room. Reminds me of me. A perfect disaster. Fragile. Looks perfect on the outside but if you shake it hard enough, it might fall apart. It holds my stuff and it just...works. It's so imperfect and yet it just...works.

Sarvat

I hate everyone around you right now. Even my own brother! Yes, I said it. I am jealous of everyone who is interacting with you on a daily basis right now when I have not seen you for 6 months. I am sick as a dog and 5 minutes away from pneumonia. I have been missing you being with me and comforting me whenever I'm sick. I'm all alone here with nobody and have been crying for you all day. They get to laugh and talk to you all the time and see you everyday.

Jealous.

I'm insanely jealous right now.

I hate them!
I hate them all!
I hate that they have you right now and I don't!
You're MY sister-in-law!
NOT THEIRS!

I miss you, Sarvat

"Awww...I can just see those big eyes... *tink tink* tinking at me."
--Sarvat--

Majigger

That's what Sarvat calls me. Jigger is slang for "heart" and Ma is "my".

My Heart.

Oh I haven't heard her say that in so long...

Threadless

I love this tee-shirt

(awwww. who can resist those button eyes on that character?)

tee hee

*blink blink*

Germs...I hate you (the saga continues)

I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT when I get this cough. We all know about the fact that I never get the cold or flu and when I do, it comes with a vengeance. We all know what happened the last time I had this.

HELLLLLLLLOOOOOOOO?

4 a.m. trip to the hospital in Belfast ring a bell?

Oh Courtney...Where are you?


*blink blink*
*pout*

Robitussen

Chug-a-lug, baby ... Chug-a-lug!

Germs (cont'd...again!)

I feel it in my lungs. My nose is still leaking and I still feel lethargic from a fever. Damn you person whose germs I'm hacking up.

I hate you!
I hate you!
I hate you!

Threadless

I LOVE this shirt!

There is life on this planet

Thank you Marisa. This is the first time ever someone besides my family has taken care of me when I've been sick.

germs (cont'd)

i woke up still feeling like crap. how is it possible for a girlie girl like me to produce so much snot? ugh. so gross! headache. fever.

make it go away!

Gambia

You come with me to Gambia. I find you goooooood husband.
--Binta's Grandmother

THEY'RE ALL OVER ME!

HELP_ME!

THE GERMS!
THE GERMS!

THEY'RE TAKING OVER MY ROOM!

I FEEL SO ICKY! AND GERMY!

MUST_STERILIZE_ROOM!

I CAN'T WAIT TO DROWN MY ROOM IN RUBBING ALCOHOL!

THE VIRGO IN ME IS GOING NUTS RIGHT NOW!

HELP! PLEASE!

SOMEONE!

SEND_HELP!

SABILAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

HELPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEE.

holy hell!

Strike that! First cold, fever, cough and dizziness....in D.C.! God Bless Koko for being Mr. Making Breakfast and Taking Care of Me Guy!

*Achoo*

ooooooOOOOooooh how cute! My first cold in D.C. Ew! My nose is leaking and I feel so germy! Ugh!

Secret Santa

Rest in Peace.

Rubble

A couple of years ago my mother, grandmother and sister went back to the site where our house in Chandler used to stand. It was torn down to make room for the Loop 202 freeway that was going to be built at that time. They walked around the lot remembering all the times. Unfortunately there were not many good ones to remember. But it was in that dirt and rubble that they found this picture of me. I've always taken that as a sign.

I love this picture.

Dream

Dog: To see a dog in your dream, indicate a skill that you have ignored or forgotten, but needs to be activated. Alternatively, dogs may symbolize intuition, loyalty, generosity, protection, and fidelity. Your own values and intentions will enable you to go forward in the world and succeed.

German Shepherd: To see a German Shepherd in your dream, highlights your protective instincts and attentiveness to a situation. This is no time for your to be nervous and/or lose control.

Dude! Where's My Car?

Friday:
Me: Dude, where's my car? Oh forget it! I'm gonna sleep all day.

Saturday:
Me: Dude, where's my car?
Ali: Oh, I'm tired so I just went home.
Me: Uh. Well I have to go grocery shopping. Can you bring my car tomorrow?

Sunday: *Ali drives up. I'm pissed and waiting on the steps*
Me: Dude, where's my car!!!??!!!
Ali: Just get in.
Me: What the hell are you driving and where the hell is my car?!!??!!
Ali: Just get in and I'll explain.
Me: You crashed my car while I was gone didn't you?
Ali: Just get in. I just bought this. Get in.
Me: Dude! Where the hell is Lolita?!?!
Ali: Get in!
Me: Not until you tell me what the hell you've done with Lolita!
Ali: *parks* Just please get in.
Me: Nice ride. Congratulations.
Ali: Thanks.
Me: DUDE! WHERE IS LOLITA!?!
Ali: At the shop!
Me: Why?
Ali: Well...I parked it on the next street because I couldn't find parking here. And when I came back, the guy who had parked behind me...when he pulled out, he dented the bumper and the left tail light. So its being fixed and I'm taking care of it.
Me: *blink blink*
Ali: *silence*
Me: Well. I guess that's the reason I call her Lolita. That little slut. The second I leave town, she decides to get butt-fucked!

Life

I'm so busy trying to desperately make something out of myself in this life and to get somewhere in this life that I'm forgetting to really live life.

Tissue

I walked into the metro train and took a seat. I saw her and her husband sitting diagonal from me. I could see from her eyes that she had been crying. I saw her husband reach down and gently rub her hand to console her; which made her tear up even more. She reached into her purse to search for something but came out empty handed. She wiped the tears from her face with her hands. I felt empathy for her since that had been my exact state 15 minutes prior to leaving campus. I reached into my bag, pulled out three small tissues from a pack which I carry with me all the time. I walked to her and without any words or eye contact, simply handed them to her. She accepted them without looking up at me. I sat back down in my seat, closed my eyes and listened to my music, leaving them to whatever they were going through at that moment. The husband exited the train a stop before her. She sat there quietly, staring out into the darkness as the train moved again. The next stop was hers. She left without exchanging eye contact with me. Maybe her fears were the same as mine. Maybe she was afraid that if she looked me in the eye, I might have figured out what she was thinking.

woke up with a

splitting headache.

...

I wish I could sleep.

Classics of the night

Me: We shall get together again soon.
Josh: Of course. We *have* to destroy the world together.

night

good night moon.

Oh plane ride from hell!

I was suffering from yet another splitting headache. I knew Baba felt bad for me when he saw me take a pillow and try to put my head upside down on it putting pressure on the top of my head. He gave me some strong pain killer and told me to lie down. There I was lying down between Mom and Baba talking away with them and Grandma sitting on the lounger by their bed. Having a family moment on my last night in Arizona while Baba was giving me a head rub in an attempt to get rid of my headache. It felt nice. I was already going in and out of sleep.

Then the phone rang and this sentence from Baba to my great-aunt in Pakistan sent my world into a fast forward spin.

"Oh you all are already celebrating Friday in Pakistan."

My head shot up and I screamed. "TOMORROW IS FRIDAY! THAT MEANS MY FLIGHT IS TONIGHT!"

I could not believe that I had completely forgotten about my red-eye flight from AZ to DC. It was 8:30 p.m. at this time. I ran across the house and stuffed everything I could find in my suitcase. I took the most half-assed shower to wake myself up. I was still complaining about my headache when Baba called in a last minute perscription of Zomig (which is gold to me) which we picked up on the way to the airport.

I was dropped off at the airport and got to the gate on time. The plane was jam packed!!! Especially with families who each had on the average 2 kids about 1-3 years old who were not happy about being in a plane all night. One kid screamed...literally screamed all night. The two guys sitting next to me and I kind of bonded over that screaming. One of us would let out a, "Oh God please shut up your kid." Then the other would say, "Take the kid for a walk."

I swear. The whole plane ride was non stop screaming kids. I was so glad to get off that plane and exchanged e-mails with the two on the way out. I just made new friends.

Nobody next to me on the plane from Detroit to DC. I passed out for the hour or so on the way here. I came to the realization that I did not have my house keys with me. I had no idea where they were and where I saw them last. I trusted myself and knew that they'd be in the bottom of my duffle bag which was checked in...

luckily they were...

cab ride home...

sleepy as hell...

great to be back in DC

It's a foggy, rainy and chilly day in the Capitol.

Me, Z and Shawn

And then there were...three.

"Oh Man"

My darling little lovely Monkey. I will miss you so much.

I can't believe I said that in front of my parents

HaHa. Yeeeea. These days they ask you if you're a terrorist before they date you.
--Me

Grandma and I are

watching Big Boss and all the indian soap operas on Z-TV and all the other Asian cable networks with all the people who are dead but alive but are dead but really alive but are really dead but are alive under a blanket with the room heater on 90 degrees and when someone knocks on the bedroom door we scream in our FOB-Y-iest accent, "NO-BO-DIIIII-ZZZZZZZ HOOOOOOME!!!!"

Stay Still

I asked for rough directions to get to Gilbert Hospital so I can mapquest it from the house. Baba was glad I reminded him because he forgot to put the words "with contrast" on the MRI of the Brain orders. I asked what that meant. He said it means they will inject iodine in me during the MRI. I asked if that would be a problem since I'm allergic to shellfish and some kinds of seafoods. He just sat there and uttered a silent, "shit." He and I just sat there and had a *blink blink* moment of now what?!

My mom is deathly allergic to Iodine and can never get anything like that done. I'm starting to get there slowly yet surely. Which sucks for me because as I recently discovered on my vitamin shopping spree; almost every women's daily vitamin has either shellfish, fish oil or Iodine in it. Which is why I only take Calcium + Vitamin D pills. When it comes to this MRI with contrast, I don't think I'm that bad; but we don't like to risk it either. I was told to let the people doing my MRI know that and see what they say.

I woke up early and stopped for my mostest favoritest (yes that is a word to me which I use to describe my bestest) coffee in the world, Vanilla Hazelnut Coffee from Einstein Bros Bagels. I felt slightly queasy so I got an order of toast with butter and jelly. That was hard because my choices were strawberry jelly or grape, both of which are my favorite. I chose strawberry. I ate on the way to the hospital. Only took two bites and decided that my stomach didn't want any more.

I found Gilbert Hospital. I didn't know that's what it was because that building didn't exist when I lived in AZ 3 years ago, but the words Emergency and a helicopter on the roof gave it away. I went inside and was led to the imaging part of the hospital. The staff there was wonderful. I filled out all the necessary paperwork and was officially 'admitted' in the hospital and was given a tag to wear around my wrist. She made me sign a paper which stated a power of attorney in case anything was to happen...I signed that over to my dad...being a physician, I feel that he is the right person to make the necessary decisions for me medically. I was then led to the room where my MRI was going to be done. I had to take off all metal, including my nose-ring. That felt weird.

Kevin was going to be doing my MRI. He is a sweetheart. I was a little nervous and felt like a little cat that was afraid to come out from under a bed. Kevin picked up on that and kept chatting about DC and the metro with me to make me feel comfortable, since he had lived in Bethesda for a bit. He had to put a needle in my arm. I turned my head away and focused on the trees outside. I immediately smelled and tasted something sweet in my mouth. It was saline he had injected in me. He said that halfway through the MRI he will put in the iodine. The whole procedure would take about 45 minutes to an hour. I think that the saline part was the precaution that they take regarding the whole iodine issue...

He then walked towards me and started putting something in my ear...

"WHOA...WHOA...WE JUST MET..WHAT ARE YOU PUTTING IN MY EAR!?!" I said

Kevin was laughing so hard he had to walk away...

(I'm so funny sometimes)

He told me that it gets really loud inside the machine and those were earplugs to protect my ears.

"In that case, you may approach," I said.

He put the earplugs in my ears and I got as comfortable as I could.

He said I couldn't move my head and put boards around me to help that. He put a covering on my head which reminded me of the movie Silence of the Lambs...Kevin said that's the most common response from patients.

He left the room. There was silence. Everything was white, cold and still.
I just closed my eyes and started humming in my head.

The MRI started...I would hear loud noises and then Kevin's voice would come over some tiny speaker asking me if I'm doing ok. My usual response would be, 'Yep.'

Then it happened...While I'm lying there with my eyes closed I felt like I was spinning. Sharply spinning. My whole body felt like it was going in circles. Sharp circles. I think that was claustrophobia setting in. I opened my eyes and had to take a deep breath. I still felt like I was spinning.

I kept humming in my head.

After a half hour of loud noises and not moving, Kevin walked in and said, "its time for the contrast." He put in the iodine. I felt an instant tingling in my head. I already had a light headache this morning but I felt it get worse at that moment. I felt myself ... quiver. Yes. Weird but I did. I almost cried. My head was tingling. My headache was getting worse. I could feel the sharp pains in the front of my head, where I always get my headaches. It was a weird sharp feeling...I was so uncomfortable and I was so cold.

I kept humming.

I kept hoping that the loud noise would stop. But it wouldn't stop. I knew this was the finale. I could tell this was the main reason I was here...So I just toughed it out...

Then finally. It stopped. I heard Kevin walk up to me. It was over. I was ready to just go home.I felt dizzy, nauseated, disorientated and very cold. Kevin told me that Baba was there while I was getting the MRI and asked where I want the results sent. I told him to call Baba and ask him what to do, thanked him and left.

Now I just want to sleep.