William Shatner and Allergies

WrOngdOerZ: i was so restless all night. i'm so sleepy

Queenie161: me too'

WrOngdOerZ: i was up all night

Queenie161: are you ready for a super fun night tonight!

WrOngdOerZ: right now i'm going to take a benadryl and take a nap. my leg is still red and itchy. i think i am allergic to whatever bug bit me

Queenie161: well get better, because we gots to party tonight!

WrOngdOerZ: this happenend to me last summer here and i showed them at the pharmacy and she said...you are allergic to whatever bug is biting you...take a benadryl

WrOngdOerZ: and my leg..the back of it...by my ankle...is red...welty

Queenie161: you're typing is very dramatic

WrOngdOerZ: huh?

Queenie161: when I read it, I want to do a William Shatner impression

WrOngdOerZ: LOL

Queenie161: the bug...bit...my leg

WrOngdOerZ: hahaah

Queenie161: ::long pause::

WrOngdOerZ: HAHAHAHHA

WrOngdOerZ: actually those are my *thinks* pause

WrOngdOerZ: "how do i describe it?"pause

Queenie161: haha

WrOngdOerZ: OK

WrOngdOerZ: its NOT a bug bite. sitting here i just had a red welt show up randomly in front of my leg... by the ankle on the front...its allergies

WrOngdOerZ: i need to take a benadryl. that quessadilla had something in it...or some shrimp or seafood that must've been touching it or SOMETHING cause since that night my leg has had WELTS and itching

Queenie161: go to the doctor

WrOngdOerZ: no its allergies and i need benadryl

WrOngdOerZ: my mom gets it that's why i know what it is

Queenie161: that's over the counter

WrOngdOerZ: yea i have it

WrOngdOerZ: it's ... allergies ...seafood ... bugs .... woe...is... me :::william shatner:::

Queenie161: hahaha

Playing Hookie

I got a phone call from Ali around 1:00 p.m. today after he had lunch with Teresa in Dupont. I told him how I had a late start today and was cleaning and working on getting some laundry done and contemplating getting started on my second paper. He told me he didn't want to go back to the office and I suggested that we go for a walk on the National Mall. He told he he'd be at my place soon and was going to call Yang to see what he was up to today. Next thing I know, I'm in Yang's car wondering how it went from being dark Green to Oriental Blue (No phun intended but that is REALLY the name of that color) and we were heading towards Georgetown. Yang's car has always been Blue...for some reason I've alway thought it was dark green since I've only been out and about with him in his car at night.

HOOKIE!

We so blew off the whole day and what we all had to do and went to the waterfront. I was walking locked arms with Ali on one side and Yang on the other telling them that I felt like such a pimpette hangin' out with two men today. "Yea, usually that's me with you and Teresa," Ali said. It took a while for us to decide where to eat since every restaurant on the waterfront is a seafood restaurant. I told them it would be so ridiculous for me to walk into a seafood place and say 'Yea hi i have seafood allergies so I'll just eat the lettuce, Thanks." We finally walked by a place and I saw a woman eating a burger and felt hopeful about my food situation. Which was good because by this time I was famished!

We had a nice late lunch (Ali had soup) and enjoyed the 15 minute rain storm, going inside just before it hit. The server brought out a bottle of Tobasco Sauce and Ali says, "OH NO! And this time they brought out the big bottle!" He was making fun of my last burger and tobasco episode where I basically drank the sauce with my burger. After much discussion of how Ali can get away with murder since Yang is allergic to Soy Sauce and I'm allergic to Seafood...and trying to figure out WHY O WHY would there be such a thing as a "Curry Martini", we headed to the Sheesha place in Crystal City. On the way back Yang says, "Do you need to go to the grocery store?" I swear, it was as if he had read my mind. So then Daniel and I went grocery shopping. I came back and watched Scrubs with Sarah and now am going to finish the laundry I had left in the washer earlier today. Tomorrow is Yoomie's birthday party celebration! YEAAAAAA for a fun-filled weekend! Then Saturday is the Cherry Blossom Parade in Downtown! My camera will be busy this weekend! I'll get the second paper started...ummm...eventually.

I loved playing Hookie!

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa for my day out with my dudes!

...

Sometimes...Sometimes.

Singing to myself today...

Hey, you know they're all the same
You know you're doing better on your own
So don't buy in.
Live right now
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough
For someone else

It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of a ride
Everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright
Alright

It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of a ride
Everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright
Alright

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out
Or looked down on
Just do your best,
Do everything you can.
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say

It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of a ride
Everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright
Alright

--Jimmy Eat World--
In the Middle

Hospital

4 hours at the hospital, lots of crying, lots of pain and an imitrex shot later. I can finally rest. What a heinous Sunday it has been.

...

"Dont make someone a priority if they only make you an option."
--Anonymous--

who needs to write 40 pages when you can say it in a sentence?

Allow me to break down the heinous-wretched research papers:

Is Democracy Possible in Islam? By Nefertiti
"Yes, but they hate it even more when it's America's idea. The End."

U.S. Foreign Policy and Human Rights Issues in China: By Nefertiti
"Economic gains outweigh human rights issues in China. The End."

U.S.-China Security: By Angie
"They're so economically involved it's almost impossible that they'll nuke each other. The End."

Risk Analysis: By Scott
"One day, we all will eventually die. The End

Kiss my Ass AU.

Harem

Brad: I have changed my name now to Ahmadinabrad.
Boo: Nefertiti approves of your name change and welcomes you to her harem.

Row

When there's no wind; row.
--Proverb--

I forgot I had this taped to the inside of my closet door in Arizona. This has always inspired me. When I saw it again on the first day visiting home in March, it made me smile and think of my situation here in D.C. That's what I'm doing . I'm trying so hard so hard not to fail. I can't be a failure. I'm rowing.

Uncle

My Great-Uncle in Pakistan passed away today. I pray for his wife and his children. I pray for peace in their hearts. I pray for peace in my Grandfather's heart. I remember him...growing up around him and his family and 2 summers ago when I was in Pakistan. I remember his hearty laugh. His love for his family. His love for his wife and how he'd flirt with her as if they were newlyweds. How he'd tell people that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. How he would be so proud of his sons. How he protected his daughter. He was a good father. An honorable man who loved his friends and family and did everything in his power to make them happy. The men in my Grandfathers' family are famously known for being loving, loyal and faithful to their wives and family. I remember that about him. I remember it. I remember him well.

Rest in Peace. May Allah Bless your soul.

Love is a Temporary State of Insanity

I was sitting outside at Starbucks today enjoying this gorgeous weather D.C. has blessed us with when I noticed the cutest little dog hangin' out with some kids a couple of tables diagonal to the right from me. I assumed the dog was a boy. He was the cutest little thing, obviously still a little pup. Curiously barking at a bird the hopped by and playing with the kids' bags next to him. I was smiling at him wishing that I could walk over and say "Hi" to this furry ball of cuteness that had taken my attention away from my reading. Then my view of him went from butterflies in my belly to annoyance.

Lady # 1 sat down at the table, diagonal to the left, with her cute little puppy who looked like a girl to me. . The puppy to my right started barking like crazy and wanting to go play with the puppy on the left. I smiled and turned to the person next to me and said, "He definitely must be a guy." We both laughed at the events unfolding of how the puppy on the right wanted to play with the puppy on the left who was sitting on the ground calmly with her owner.

Then it all changed.

The puppy on the right kept barking at the puppy on the left wanting to go over and play with her but his leash would only allow him to go halfway. Then Lady # 2 walks by with a tiny white poodle on a leash. And the puppy on the right stopped barking and instead goes up and starts getting curious with her and sniffing her and forgot all about the puppy on the left.

That whole scenario was too familiar to me. Puppy on right can't get to puppy that far away on the left so he instead decides to walk up to the one that is accessible to his leash.

My lesson of the day: Men are only as loyal as their options.

Moon

It's a full moon in the night sky tonight. Didn't you know? I am the moon.

Leaving Me

I used to be lunatic from the gracious days
I used to be woebegone and so restless nights
My aching heart would bleed for you to see
Oh but now...
(I don't find myself bouncing round whistling
and fortunes to make me cry)
No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me

The language is leaving me in silence



--Annie Lennox--

My Favorite Neice

"Cover your ears honey. Auntie is going to yell at your Mommy."

Giving her favorite Aunt kisses.

"I'm going to braid your hair."

Only she can make me dance in public like that.

Numb

I've been in bed all day. I have not gotten out of bed. I'm not hungry. Not inspired. Not anything. I just want to lie here. I feel numb. Completely and utterly numb. I just want to disappear. I still have a headache.

24

Lets watch 24. We can see you on 24. Oh wait. This season it's the Russians.
--Sarah--

Spring Fever

I left my bat-cave today, minus a fever but still stuffy with a cold, thinking I will find a great spot on the National Mall to read all my articles. That didn't pan out too well because I ended up having a one-woman picnic by the National Gallery of Art structure museum and enjoyed watching people fly their kites in the gorgeous spring sunny day. My favoritest moment of the day was when I enjoyed an ice cream bar on my usual bench, grinning like a fool and feeling like a kid. I love my bench. Its on the north side of the mall, facing the Freer Museum. I love that spot. When I look right, I see the National Monument. When I look left I have a gorgeous view of the Capitol along with the rest of the mall and if I look straight ahead; my mostest favoritest museum. And then when its time to go, I walk across the mall and take the Smithsonian metro stop to wherever I'm going next. I can't wait until I'm finished with my heinous work. MEANWHILE...It's almost here! What I've been waiting for since I moved to D.C. I cannot wait!

THE CHERRY BLOSSOM FESTIVAL!

I want to go to this so badly. I have the perfect skirt I'd wear too.

Lullaby

I forgot I had this on my ipod. Listening to it in the train made me tear up. I used to sing this song to Shawn when he was 2 months old, as a lullaby before he'd go to sleep. I missed him so much at that moment.

Pink elephants and lemonade, dear jessie
Hear the laughter running through the love parade
Candy kisses and a sunny day, dear jessie
See the roses raining on the love parade

If the land of make believe
Is inside your heart it will never leave
Theres a golden gate where the fairies all wait
And dancing moons, for you

Close your eyes and you'll be there
Where the mermaids sing as they comb their hair
Like a fountain of gold you can never grow old
Where dreams are made, your love parade

--Dear Jessie--
Madonna

Germs Part II

2 colds and 2 fevers...months apart. This has never happened to me ever. I feel like crap. My head hurts. I have a fever. My eyes hurt. My nose is leaking.

On the upside. I'm keeping Lolita and she had her emissions testing done. So those strangers can go to hell for now. Lolita is not going anywhere for the time being.

Zomig and DayQuil are my best friends today.

I Love Squirrels

Guy Squirrel: *chasing what I would like to think is the girl squirrel. around the tree. over the sidewalk. to the grass in the parking lot*
Me: *walking by observing this absolute cuteness*
Girl Squirrel: *takes a sharp right and runs away*
Guy Squirrel: *stands there on his two feet. very still. staring at me as I walk by*
Me: *points* "She went that way."

Gossip

Go Ahead! Say whatever you want. However you want. To whomever you want. We'll just stand here quietly and gracefully. You'll be the one looking like an idiot in the end. What does this show anyone who's semi-logical? You are the gossipy bitch dying to tell everyone what is going on in my family's life when you have never lived in it for one single day. When you have never sat down and shared our tears. When you have never been here since day one and have never known what we have been through. It's so easy for you to just spit out what's going on in peoples' lives without ever knocking on their door and asking them if they're ok. Asking them what they've gone through. Asking them what the real story is. You have no idea but you're *CHASING* others because you are just DYING to tell them the latest gossip in our lives. Shows me how pathetic you are. Shows me what a low life you are. Shows me how uneducated and unclassy you are. Shows me what trash you are. Shows me how useless you are.

You don't pay for my rent, my food, my school, my living. You don't pay for my family's everyday living and our survival. You are not our God. You are not my East. You are nothing to me. NOTHING. You never said a word when he beat her, when he beat us. You stupid bitch! Where were you THEN? Where were you to stop it? You loved bad mouthing her then to egg him on and you continue to bad mouth her now, even when she's no longer married to your brother. You are NOTHING to me. You've NEVER been anything to me.

Someone told me that you can't wait until I come to India so you can finally see 'your eldest niece' ...

Oh just you wait you stupid piece of shit! I fantasize about the day I'm in India. And they tell me that you are at the door. I will tell them to tell you to leave. You will never see my face. I will never allow you to see my face.

I hate you. More than you can ever imagine. More than I've ever hated anyone in my life.

I. Hate. You.

You are nothing to me.

NOTHING.

Motherhood: According to Tom

WrOngdOerZ: i think i'm feeling down cause i'm selling the car and its just been a crappy day.
HeresUrSign42: aww, i'm sorry honey. you want a raspberry chai? a strawberry milkshake? some nuclear weaponry?
WrOngdOerZ: *pout *

HeresUrSign42: I LOVE YOU! if i wasn't gay i'd propose i swear! well...that's a lie, i can't afford a ring but i'd buy you a strawberry milkshake and a yellow rose.

WrOngdOerZ: josh asked me to have a baby with him. did he tell you that?

HeresUrSign42: awww no fun. well you'd definitely have beautiful babies.

WrOngdOerZ: suddenly i'm the new ovaries experiment...

HeresUrSign42: hahahaha are you serious?
WrOngdOerZ: my facialist said 'it would be interesting experiment to see if you pass your big eyes to your kid" and Josh said 'will you carry my child' and i said 'not if my depo can help it'.

HeresUrSign42: honey, please, you should have my baby, not josh's

HeresUrSign42: huge eyes, but they'd be bright blue like mine

WrOngdOerZ: as long as she/he has my huge eyes with blue

WrOngdOerZ: that's what I was thinking!!!

HeresUrSign42: hahahaha sooo hot

WrOngdOerZ: ok...keep your boys on backup for me...in case no guy has asked me to marry him in 5 years....and i'm ready to be a mom...i'll come seeking your boys. sound good?

HeresUrSign42: lol, of course

WrOngdOerZ: or i'll just pull an angelina and adopt. that way i don't have to ever ruin the figure.

HeresUrSign42: ah, very true. the whole pregnancy thing is so overrated. everyone says its a miracle - thats a lie!

HeresUrSign42: this thing grows inside of you and feeds off of you for 9 months until it comes ripping and tearing out of you covered in goo

HeresUrSign42: miracle my ass! that's no miracle my friend, that is a parasite

...

Its just this helpless feeling which suddenly makes you startlingly aware of how alone you really are at that moment...that there's nobody standing around to say, "Here let me see what's wrong." And you know you can make a phone call and call a tow truck and have it taken care of. I mean, as my mother says, 'This is America dammit.'

But...

At that initial moment. That feeling, that helplessness...is what you cry about, really. It's so tiring to be the only one taking care of me all the time. I'm tired of being so strong all the time. So tired. i have a headache.

Failure

:::WHAT I'M FEELING:::

You told me that I shouldn't be affected. So nonchalantly you said that, without fully understanding the depth of what we were all going through. Right now I'm so behind in school, I don't even know where to begin. I'm to a point right now that I don't even think I can do this. I can't finish what I started this semester. I already know I'm going to fail. I already know I'm not going to give it my 100% and I hate every second of knowing that. I hate that. I absolutely hate that. I feel so behind. I feel so inadequate. I feel so lost in my readings. I feel so incompetent to be in those classes. I feel like a complete failure. A total utter complete failure. What was I thinking? I'm not good enough. I was never good enough. For anything. I hate my failure right now in everything around me. Every aspect of my life...everywhere I look, is a failure. School. Work. Love. Life. All failures. I am a complete failure. I hate myself right now.





:::WHAT I'M THINKING:::

Failure is not an option.

Yay for Sunday!

My favorite way to spend a Sunday in D.C. Pho and Movies. With Ali and Teresa.

Happy Birthday Shawn!

Happpy Burrrrrrrrrrthdayyyy tooooo Youuuuuu

Happppy Burrrrrrrrrrrthdayyyyy toooo Youuuuu
Happpy Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrthdayyyyy
to the best most sweetest awesomest wonderful brother in the wurrrrrrrrrrld
Happppppy Burrrrrrrrthdayyyyy toooooooo youuuuuuuuuuu

I Love You SOOOO MUCH My Darling Chicken!

Classic

Me: Baba, our row home is selling for $995,000. Do you want to be our new landlord?
Baba: Did you want me to mail some of my blood with that check too?

"The Coolest Person I've Ever Met On A Plane"

That's the title Natalie and I gave each other when we exchanged emails and phone numbers. She told me it was a sign that I sat next to her because she was trying to decided, after graduation from grad school in May, if she should move to DC. I told her that maybe she and I met for that reason and whenever she comes to DC for apartment hunting, she's more than welcome to crash at my place. She told me she believes in signs. I told her I used to until I realized that its just things we notice more in our minds because of our heightened sense of a situation. But that's neither here nor there. Bottom line, I made a new friend. Yay for Natalie! I hope she moves to D.C.

*Yawn*

I'm so tired. So incredibly tired. sooooooooooooooooo incredibly tired...

what am i doing here??

i should be sleeping.

good night moon.

"I'm tired. I think I'll ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."
--Melmin the Giraffe (Madagascar)

Ode to the man who will grow old with me:

Next lifetime lets come back as homing pigeons;
its taking you forever to find me.

head

i've had a splitting headache all day. it's on the right side this time. my right eye feels like its going to pop out of my head. i've been in bed, trying to nap but i'm in too much pain to actually sleep. i hate my headaches.

My Crazy Lovely Brothers!

(Zeshan and Shawn)

I love this picture. It describes them to a tee.

Shawn: That's so unfair that you can't stay for my birthday.
Zeshan: School starts. I have to go back.
Shawn: I still think you should've stayed for my birthday.
Zeshan: I was in Pakistan during the summer when it was my birthday, did you visit me there?
Shawn: Touche!

Never Ever Mess with Nefertiti's Mother

"You forgot about the eagle that's sitting there across the country didn't you? All I have to do is make one phone call and utter the words, "Sha I can't handle this anymore," and she'll fly here before you all can blink and she will pluck her mother away. Don't forget about the eagle sitting in the Capitol, I haven't spoken to her in days. That's for a reason. I'm keeping her away from this for now. I don't want her to hear another word of this. You don't want to hear the words, "Where is my mother?" out of her mouth. You don't want her to question you when it comes to her mother. She will stand like a mountain between the world and her mother. Don't ever make the mistake of forgetting about the eagle keeping an eye on her mother across the country."
--Grandma--

...

splitting headache

Currently listening to over and over

"Secret of Life" by Faith Hill

...negativity...

i hate what i've become.

...

"I miss you and I will always love you; Always is a long time,
and I'm willing to stand by that."

--Kristale--

My career as a translator, according to Tom

Them: What did they he say?
Me: Well...he either said, "I'm going to bomb you," or "I want a strawberry milkshake." But either way...I'd have both the nukes and the blender ready if I were you.

Nobody

i wish someone would just walk through my room door...automatically know what is in my head. know what i'm going through and just hold me...because there are times, like today where i feel so incredibly helpless and so incredibly hopeless and so incredibly lost and i look around my room and there's nobody...because what i'm going through right now...what the whole family is going through right now...i can't tell anyone...i can't share with anyone...and i wish my phone would ring with somebody saying the words, "are you ok?" because there's nobody to ask that...

i can't breathe...

who holds you and comforts you when you need it the most Sash?

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

--Greenday--

I luuuuvvvvvvvvv youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

InTriGue89: how are u?

WrOngdOerZ: i'm ok. one day at a time. i'm strong.

InTriGue89: thank God for that strength of urs

InTriGue89: did my words of encouragement help [flashes cheesy smile]

WrOngdOerZ: they always do. why do you think i turn to you when i need them?

InTriGue89: i have faith in u sash like i have Faith in God. you can do anything!

WrOngdOerZ: i'm the godfather but when the godfather needs a kick in the butt..i turn to you

InTriGue89: i'm robin. i'm the sidekick. one day u shall crown me knight. and i too will become a godfather. [angels chant]

WrOngdOerZ: you are my knight

WrOngdOerZ: i love you my baby doll.

InTriGue89: mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa [kisses computer screen]

WrOngdOerZ: my supermodel with a heart of gold!

InTriGue89: we're so leechy with each other!!!!!!

InTriGue89: ahahah i swear to God

InTriGue89: I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WrOngdOerZ: i misssssssssssss youuuuuuuuuuu

InTriGue89: i missssssssssssssssssss u!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WrOngdOerZ: i wish we were on the bus to St. Andrews right now

WrOngdOerZ: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

InTriGue89: u've no idea

InTriGue89: i miss u! i love u!

InTriGue89: goodnight beauty

WrOngdOerZ: love you!

WrOngdOerZ: night

InTriGue89: oh man i love u!

How Grad Students Do It

WrOngdOerZ: what's up?

ellinitha16: I was told growing up was beautiful girls like your self would be fallen angels.... but never believed it until I bumped into you. I always thought angels landed over some Greek island but you happen to land in Michigan! At this moment I aspire to find to find out more about you and wonder how your smile lit up my life.

WrOngdOerZ: hmmmmmmmmmmm

WrOngdOerZ: who sent it?

ellinitha16: this guy I dont know

WrOngdOerZ: where did he send it?

ellinitha16: my e-mail

WrOngdOerZ: seriously? how does he know you?

WrOngdOerZ: well you DO have a very endearing smile

ellinitha16: evidently he saw a picture of me on detroit greeks

WrOngdOerZ: does he seem creepy? why the sweet talk the first time?

ellinitha16: i dont know

WrOngdOerZ: i'm cautious....be careful

ellinitha16: yeah. exactly

WrOngdOerZ: be VERY VERY careful

ellinitha16: i just saw it and was like woah

ellinitha16: how about hi

WrOngdOerZ: i prefer..hi i'm blah blah ... and i was wondering if you'd like to grab a cup of coffee sometimes?

WrOngdOerZ: i'm more of that kind of girl

WrOngdOerZ: i tend to favor realism rather than the ideological babble when it comes to matters of being romanced

WrOngdOerZ: whoa! I can tell i'm talking to you and working on a paper at the same moment

Christina

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

There must have been an angel whispering in your ear today. You have no idea how much I needed your friendship and your support.Thank you. I love you and miss you.

...

People see me
I'm a challenge to your balance
I'm over your heads how I confound you
and astound you to know
I must be one of the wonders
Of God's own creation
And as far as you see you can offer me
No explanation

I believe
Fate smiled at destiny
Laughed as she came to my cradle
Know this child will be able
Laughed as she came to my mother
Know this child will not suffer
Laughed as my body she lifted
Know this child will be gifted
With love, with patience and with faith
She'll make her way

She'll make her way
She'll make her way

--Natalie Merchant--
Wonder

Tears

We need never be ashamed of our tears.

--Charles Dickens--

Great Expectations

Fear

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear love are already three parts dead.

--Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

...About Yours Truly...

If heaven made (her), earth can find some use for (her).

--Chinese Proverb--

Ammi

"Sha Ji, haven't heard your voice in a long time *click*.

That's the sweetest voice mail in the world to me. It makes me grin and I feel butterflies in my belly and all warm and cozy. Especially when I call back and hear the excitement in Grandma's voice after she picks up the phone and I simply say, "Ammi." And she'll excitedly says "Shaaaaaaaaaa.".

That's what Ammi calls me. That's what she's called me since the day I was born. I have never heard her say my full name, even to others she'll refer to me as 'Sha.' That nickname of mine is so incredibly special to me that only Ammi has dibs on it. I called Ammi tonight and when she picked up the phone, I simply said: I am so thankful to God to have you, mom and Baba in my life every single day.

I miss Ammi. I can't wait to see her. I can't wait to watch cheesy Bollywood movies with her. I can't wait to watch cheesy shows with her. I can't wait to be in the kitchen cooking up a storm with her. I can't wait to just spend the day relaxing out with Ammi and being silly.

...

"Something is different about you. I can't put my finger on it and I know that I haven't seen you in a long time. But just by your voice, your tone; its different. It's in what you're saying, and in everything you're not saying."
--friend--

Tekken

I miss playing Tekken! Devil Jin is my guy. He's the character I always pick. I love Devil Jin. If he was alive, I'd so be all over him.

Madiha

Me: Sorry I didn't join you all. I was on benadryl and recovering from an allergic reaction.
Madiha: Well, make sure you don't pull a blowfish on me again.

One day

And one day someone will appreciate my memory of when I was young and I used to dance with Rekha while she danced on the big screen in my grandparents' living room in Karachi which was beautifully decorated with gorgeous rugs and paintings and vases from places like Kenya, Uganda, Singapore, Hong Kong and Jeddah...If I close my eyes, I can still see that room now.

One day.

Someone will want to hear about my good memories.

Foreign Policy

U.S.-India-China relations.
China-India Relations.
Japan-China Relations.
U.S-Japan Relations.
U.S.-India Relations.
U.S.-China Relations.
U.S.-Pakistan Relations.
India-Pakistan Relations.
Pakistan-China Relations.

Taiwan?
OoOOoops. Did I say the 'T' word?

Know it.
Love it.
Breathe it.
Live it.

Dumb Fvcks (cont'd)

"WHAT THEY REALLY THINK: Wow, I wish I was motivated and hard-working enough to do all of that. And she's hotter than me too? Well, I have to say something to make myself feel better."
--Lindsey--

Dumb Fvcks

WHAT THEY SAY: So? You collecting degrees?
WHAT I SAY: *shrug* haha. I guess.
WHAT I'M REALLY THINKING: No dumb fuck. I actually have a plan.. Why don't you just ask me what it is instead of belittling all my hard work with a sarcastic comment like that which shows me how ignorant you really are.

The End.

Headache!

splitting. splitting. headache. i feel like my right eye is going to pop out of my head. i'm sick of my imitrex shots not working...i'm going to have the doctor call in the nose inhaler medicine instead so I no longer have to throw up for 12 hours and live through a headache for over 24 hours without any medicine again like i did the last time I had a migraine.

I'm not throwing up today. my head just really hurts and its all on the right side of my head including my shoulder. i am trying to get rid of my headache by the usual measures of aleve and tying my orange cloth belt around my head as tight as I can for pressure but its not working. its getting worse which means it will be a full-fledged migraine in a bit and i will have no choice but to turn to my zomig.

I hate this. I truly truly really hate this.

absolutely sick and tired of this.

Josh and Tom

I love you two very much and am thankful to have you two in my life each and every day. Thank you for today. I love you.

Classics of The Day

(E-Mail sent by Madiha Yesterday)

Yeah.. so it's valentines day tommorow... and we all have hot dates... but i am ditching my romantic cruise and candlelight dinner with George Clooney because something even better has come up...Alex is finally turning 13!! Yayyy... welcome to teenage love baby!!

We are all meeting at Cafe Citron after work... their happy hour starts at 4pm... but we wont make it there until 6 or 7... and we might move on to another place thereafter... so come by and be Alex's valentine...

lovies,

Madiha

(After non-stop exchanges and non-stop birthday wishes and hitting 'send all', we get this e-mail from Madiha)

"Ok.. so I am an idiot and forgot to include Alex on this email..."




"Not just your eyes, but your lips too!! I love those lips. Not that I'm being superficial; your brain is WAY sexy too."
--Mike--

"Are we getting a full Korean War history now? Seriously! The history channel called, it wants its programing back."
--Scott, chatting with me on G-Mail chat during class--

Now That's How It Should Be Done

"After 5 mintues of deciding, I drove to Michigan this weekend and surprised Maureen. It was a phenominal weekend."
--Mike--

Oh Holy Craving Batman!

I really really really truly want Oreo cookies right now! Oreo cookies dipped in a glass of ice cold 2% milk. Preferably with a hot man feeding them to me. That would be fabulous-o right now. The cookies. I'm still talking about the cookies.
So if you could please just knock on my bat-cave with a huge glass of ice cold 2% milk and a box of Oreo cookies...that would be lovely...just lovely. Just do what I tell you and never question a woman and her cravings. I'm still talking about the cookies and milk.



Thank you for understanding the obviously obvious.

I Miss You, Shawn

Shawn should be getting this in the mail in 5-8 days. Because I'm such a good sister like that.

I Need A Reading Break

It is currently 75 degrees in Gilbert, Arizona.

I am at the Cyber Cafe at AU and still have the lingering headache that I woke up with this morning. The one Zomig I took earlier has taken the edge off my headache but still not helped; the pressure is still there. My eyes are sensitive because of my headache and hurt even more today because of the wind and cold. They sting and are very puffy. I look like I've been crying all day when in fact I'm just in a lot of pain.

Currently on Chapter 2 of Impossible Allies: Nuclear India United States and the Global Order by C. Raja Mohan. Hungry and waiting for Jessie to call me so I can take the Metro to Friendship Heights to meet the crew...for a *very* short time to say hello because I said I'd be there. I have a constant ache in my shoulders thanks to my headache. I am currently yawning and wishing I was in bed in my jammies. I should just excuse myself and go home...

I'm giving myself 25 more minutes and if my phone doesn't ring...

I'm heading home.

On the other hand...

I'm going to treat myself to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner.

Why?

Because I want to dammit!
Right now there's a very satisfied girl having a delicious meal finishing it off with their Apple Dutch Cheesecake. Oh my goodnesssss. Yes.

I'll sit there alone if I have to...I'll have Raja Mohan wooing me with his tales of the US-India Nuclear deal events 2001-05. There we go. That's what I'll do. It will be my anti-valentine's day valentine's day present to myself. I'll even buy myself yellow roses on the way home.

There we go. Two things that make me happy.

Cheesecake Factory and Yellow Roses.

My night is complete.

'Fvck Valentine's Day' Get Together

Yoomie: Saturday night all the way! I'm bringing my own blankey and pillow.
Me: I'm coming ready to spend the night with my favorites!
Madiha: Just waiting for an ok from Neeraj... he said he will confirm tommorow.
Yoomie: Ok from Neeraj? He will be joining the pussy party?
Me: That will be so hot...Neeraj is the only man i will put up with ....oh, and Josh and Tom.
Madiha: That and Alex. He's coming also.
Yoomie: Oh goody. Surrounded by three hot gay men...and Neeraj.
Madiha: I swear.. you two individually are maniacs..you two combined.. OMG.. a disaster!

Yoomie: Ah. The kettle calling the teapots black...
Me: Who two are you talking about Madiha ha?
Yoomie: She's talking about us, Sasha, us the teapots.
Me: Yoomie and me combined equals a YuUUuuuuMMMMmmy combination. Wanna make it a threesome?
Yoomie: Btw, in terms of movies for the slumber party, I have: (1) Derailed,
(2) The Weather Man, and (3) Conversations with other Women.
Me: I have fifth element...oh wait, nevermind...I have In&Out.
Yoomie: Woman, fifth element has that hot red head with Bruce Willis in it...who kisses in the end.
Madiha: I have cheesy bollywood films to add to the mix!
Me: NO WAY! They all end up being the sterotypical stupid love movie...this is anti-romance, anti-love, anti-men (well except Josh, Tom, Alex and Neeraj and the rest of the Nepali Mafia) Fuck Valentine's Day get together...
Madiha: The guys are all in!

Tuesday's Deep and Not So Deep Thoughts

--I've been craving seafood so bad lately. I have to find a seafood restaurant. I don't care what happens afterwards. I don't care how much my face or ear itches or swells up. I must go. I must have seafood.

--Why can't the Pakistani Ambassador have the public speaking skills of the Indian Ambassador? Ours sounds like a passive dud. I swear!

--I need new black gloves and a hairdryer because my hair is wet when I leave my bat-cave.

--You know it's brrrr cold outside when you have this exchange with a random person:
Person: Good Morning Miss.
Me: Morning. How are you?
Person: Fine. How are you?
Me: I can't feel my ears.

--I made a new friend at the Indian Foreign Policy event. She loves Bollywood movies and music. I can't wait to tell Sarvat that I found a gori girl who has a PhD in Bollywood like her.
Her: I'll make you a CD of all the bollywood songs.
Me: *Blink Blink*
Her: Sorry. I'm just so excited to talk about this to someone who knows what I'm talking about that its all bursting out at the same time.

--Having big eyes is a hazard in this cold and windy weather.
More surface area = More leaking and pain

--I think here's the look I have on my face when I walk to the metro:
I hate this wretched heinous weather and I'm all bundled up with my heavy bag on my shoulder with my headphones from the ipod in my ears with my gloves on with a Pashmina wrapped around my neck where I feel like Uncle Fester from 'The Adams Family' with the left ear headphone that never wants to stay in my ear because I seriously think the left ear is bigger than the right one with my eyes and ears running all the while I'm trying not to lose the kleenex in my hand while balancing the bag and the ipod and the headphones at the same time. How much more of a I'm-miserable-at-this-very-moment look can I have?

--I have no energy or desire whatsoever to get on a bus and go to NYC this coming weekend. Benedetta is just gonna have to wait because its too damn cold for me to leave this city or even make an attempt to do anything remotely productive except taking the metro to be at a certain location.

--I should be reading and doing my work right now but TBS and the upcoming episode of Sex in the City has me completely distracted. I have come to the conclusion that it is virtually impossible for me to do any work in my bat-cave.

--I love it when Josh speaks Urdu to me. Its so cool to have someone else to gossip with in Urdu. ESPECIALLY a gora boy! So cool!

--Sasha is moving to a nun convent with Yoomie in South America. Please mail oreo cookies by the boxloads. Thanks.

--Yoomie is moving to a nun convent with Sasha in South America. Please include tons of batteries in that mail package.

--I can't wait till the family trip to Saudi Arabia and Jordan in March.

"Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow."
(Alex's away message and my inspiration for the moment)

Tradition

Here's the conversation that takes place every time I need to buy butter and am at the grocery store:

Me: *Dials Sarvat's Number While Staring At Butter*
Sarvat: Hello
Me: I need to buy butter.
Her: HaHa
Me: Say it. Just say it.
Her: *British Accent* I cAUn't belIEve it's nOUt buTTa.
Me: Thank You. *Picks up I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and puts it in cart*

Classic Of The Day

Tap that bitch of a machine's ass one last time for me.
--Shawn, after I told him I was selling Lolita--