Classic Quotes of the Day

"I love how Andrew is wearing his Israeli Counter-terrorism tee-shirt in D.C., walking around with his Muslim girlfriend."
--Jason--


"I am watching 'Indepedence Day'. The aliens just struck the White House and fire engulfed the Capitol Building. I started to get worried since I haven't heard from you since yesterday and your apartment is right around the corner. Then I realized that you are probably at Andrew's place ... and aliens don't care about Cincinatti."
--Eric--

Reality

I wanted to tell her that if she applied for the US Government, where she is currently interning might be used against her. Then I realized that it wouldn't be an issue like it was for me.

She's white.

It sucks being a brown girl in DC.

Song of the Day

Love

To love and to be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.

Worth the Wait

Its amazing how one sentence made me realize that all this crying and waiting and hoping and praying was worth it. He was worth the wait. He makes me feel exactly how I had always wanted to feel. He tells me he appreciates me. He tells me I'm so good to him when in fact, he's the one who brings out that side of me. Its he who is good to me and makes me feel like I'm the most beautiful and the most luckiest woman on this planet. I am the luckiest woman on this planet. I have found a man who tells me that I am a part of him.

I am a part of him.

Nobody has ever said that to me...ever. If he never whispers another sweet word to me again, it will be okay because that one sentence will keep me going.

Classic

...And That's Why

After an evening of emo-talk courtesy of yours truly, he turns to me and says, "Lets think ahead babe. I mean, do you realize how awkward its going to be on Saturday when you and I are walking around Target holding a bag of diapers?"

That was so unexpected that I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

He has the most unusual way of making me feel better and making me laugh out loud after I've been crying. That...along with zillions of other reasons...is why I love him.

Cynical

The old me: "I think all human being are good inside. Unless someone is mean to me, I am not mean to them."
The current me: "I hate everyone equally until they prove themselves to be decent human beings."

Bleeding Love

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love


--Leona Lewis--

Marine Corps Girlfriend

Me: Babe?
Him: Yes?
Me: I have a feeling I've becoma a Marine girlfriend whether I like it or not...am I right?
Him: Yep!

...

"You are such a wonderful addition to my life. Having you in it makes me wonder what I did before I met you. Life was far more dull, lonely, not fulfilling and the food was a lot worse too."
--Him--

Square One

Back to square one = Chance for a new adventure and a new beginning.

Now if only I can believe what I just wrote.

I'll stop the world

I'll stop the world and melt with you...

PostSecret

I was at Barnes N Noble bookstore in Dowtown DC with Josh on Sunday. I saw the PostSecret book sitting on display on a table. I ripped out a piece of paper from my notebook and wrote my secret on it. I left it in the pages of the book.

My Mother is So Cute

Mom: I just googled your name, and all these articles come up...!
Me: Mom! ARE YOU STALKING ME?!!?

...

"I wish someone talked about me the way you talk about Sasha."

-Jane, to Eric-

...

He that lives upon hope will die fasting.

--Benjamin Franklin--
1706-1790

Classic

How do you say "Bite me you racist moron" in Urdu?

--Bigkahuna--

Woo Hoo!

2 weeks and 2 days till Eric is in DC!

Romancing the Stone

Used to watch this movie with Mari when we were kids and never got sick of it. Its been on TV all this week, and I still am not sick of it. I love this movie. One of my all-time favorites. I want to have an adventure like Joan Wilder who finds her Jack.

Tried

"This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something."
--Eat Pray Love--

Shawn

Happpppy Burrrrrrrrthdayyy tooo youuuuuuuuuu
Happppy Burrrrrthday to youuuuuuuuuuuu
Happpppy Burrrrrrrrrrthdayyyy dear Shawn, the best brother in the wurrrrrrld
Happpppy Burrrrrrrrrthdayyyyyyyyy toooo youuuuuu

"Okay, so I just saw an Ashwariya Rai movie with granny and alice tonight...forgot the name. But I have come to the conclusion that she is a horrible actress...and all she does is cry throughout every movie shes in.

I mean honestly, when the director gives her the script...it goes like this:

Scene 1: CRY CRY CRY CRY CRY WALK OVER HERE AND LOOK PRETTY ...CRY CRY CRY

Scene 2: Act happy for two seconds and then CRY CRY CRY CRY CRY...walk over to point B and look into the camera to act as though you're pretty...and then proceed to CRY CRY CRY CRY CRY

Scene 3: Look once more into the camera because most naive indian/pakistani people think you poop rainbows and burp Gucci perfume...and then continue doing what you do best! ...yes you got it Ms. Rai ....CRY CRY CRY CRY BAWWWWWWWWW CRY CRY CRY TEARFUL EYES, RED EYES.

Seriously."

--Shawn--

Lunch

I asked my Mom to mail me a copy of paperwork I needed. It arrived today and the envelope contained what I needed with a HORRIBLE picture of me when I was a sophomore in HS. I was horrified to see it...but that's not the point.

My favorite part of the envelope?

Money for lunch with a not that said, "Money for lunch. Love, Ma"

I love getting mail from my mother, only for that reason. I'm more excited about finding that 10 or 20 dollar bill with her note than what she mailed me.

I love my mother. She's the best mother on this planet.

A Rack! (And I'm not talking about the country)

Josh: OH MY GAWD..your boobs look AMAZING!
Me: Why thank you darling. Isn't warmer weather great? I love it. I can't wait to wear skirts and tank tops and look like a girl again!
Me: *sings* BOOOOOBS GLORIOUS BOOOOOBS FABULOUS BOOOOOOBS!
Josh: Speaking of boobs...I really miss Yoomie.

Quote of the Night

"I feel like I just found out that my favorite love song was about a sandwich."
--27 Dresses--

Touche!

Who wants a man when you can have men?"
--Lindsey--

Your Laughter

Take breath away from me, if you wish,
take air away, but
do not take from me your laughter.

Do not take away the rose,
the lance flower that you pluck,
the water that suddenly
bursts forth in your joy,
the sudden wave
of silver born in you.

My struggle is harsh and I come back
with eyes tired
at times from having seen
the unchanging earth,
but when your laughter enters
it rises to the sky seeking me
and it opens for me all
the doors of life.

My love, in the darkest
hour your laughter
opens, and if suddenly
you see my blood staining
the stones of the street,
laugh, because your laughter
will be for my hands
like a fresh sword.

Next to the sea in the autumn,
your laughter must raise
its foamy cascade,
and in the spring, love,
I want your laughter like
the flower I was waiting for,
the blue flower, the rose
of my echoing country.

Laugh at the night,
at the day, at the moon,
laugh at the twisted
streets of the island,
laugh at this clumsy
boy who loves you,
but when I open
my eyes and close them,
when my steps go,
when my steps return,
deny me bread, air,
light, spring,
but never your laughter
for I would die.

--Pablo Neruda--

Random Phone Call of the Day

Me: What's up!
Madiha: So Zach and I were discussing, and we have come to the conclusion that you have never cooked for us.
Me: Is that what you called to tell me?
Madiha: Yes.

A Poem

Love...
How I spit on that word... *spits*
Love shove. Romance shomance.
No such thing.
Its all bullshit.
Go to hell love.
I hate that word.
I hate you, Love.
I hate you.

My Funny Valentine

*Gasp!* Of COURSE I'll be your valentine! We'll definitely have to set aside this joyous day of celebrating love so we can get together and beat the shit out of one another...in Tekken of course. --Tom--

Me: Tom is my valentine! We're going to spend the day playing video games.
Mom: That's it?
Me: Uh...Mom, he's kind of repulsed by women. He would be my husband if it weren't for the fact that he's repulsed by me being a woman, he's my Gay Husband.
Mom: Oh how nice. 2008 will be a great year for you.

Me: If you were straight, I'd so do you.
Tom: Yeaaaaaaaaaa! I'm your GILF!

Tom: Since you're my Valentine, I'm going to blow you. *hands me a blow pop lollipop*

Me: You're going DOWN!
Tom: Psh! Bitch please!
Me: Who you callin' bitch, Bitch? You're MY bitch!
Tom: Well, THIS bitch's bitch is a bitch bitch-bitch who's gonna bitchin' kick this bitchin......bitch....................bitch.............aw damn!

Me: Um, why is my guy hopping on one foot?
Sasha: Huh?
Me: Oh my God! No seriously, look, I'm not touching any of the buttons and he's just hopping like a freakin tool!
Me: *laughing till I'm tearing up*
Tom: *laughing really hard*
Tom: Oh crap. I think I was laughing so hard I peed in my pants a little.

Hopeless Romantic?

Yes. I admit it. I am a closet hopeless romantic. I have done an excellent job of making myself out to be a cold-hearted-bitch. No, No. No need to make me feel better. I admit it. I have been nothing but a cold-hearted-blunt-bitch. But deep inside my cold-hearted-mountain-of-a-heart, lies soft warm magma which is waiting to burst out for the guy who will not suffer from A-D-D when it comes to me. Not someone who will find me interesting for a short amount of time, when its convenient to him, and then ignore me.

Oh, I wait...so patiently. I wait for the guy who will make me swoon. But meanwhile, as Valentine's Day approaches, I have the best Valentine a girl could ever ask for in the form of a gay husband named Tom...who is always there for me whenever I feel like I'm not good enough, and reminds me of all the wonderful qualities I possess, and how much he would love to be with me...that is, if he wasn't utterly revolted by women.

Point being...I am hopeful that one day I will feel each and every single nerve in my body tingle with joy and giddiness when I meet that guy...the one who will make me feel like I'm the most beautiful, intelligent and amazing woman he has ever met. The one who will tell me that he could never imagine his life without me. The one who won't walk away from me. The one who won't ignore me. The one who will thank his lucky stars everyday that I came in his life. The one who will bring me yellow roses because he knows how much I love them. The one who will make me feel as amazing as I want to feel whenever I hear this song.

The one where, I WILL be this song for him.

It's for him, I patiently wait...

Happy Birthday Mari!

Happy Burrrthdayyy tooo youuuu
Happy Burrrthdayyyyy toooo youuuuu
Happppppy Burrrrrthdayyyyyy Dearrrrr Maaarrrriiiiiiii

Happpppy Burrrrrthdayyyyy toooooo youuuuuu!

God Help Him On Our Wedding Day

Sabila: Oh Sash! One day we'll find the perfect guy ourselves, and he will be perfect and we both will call each other to share the good news that we're getting married. *sigh*
Me: Wanna know what I'm going to do on my wedding day?
Sabila: What?
Me: I'm going to make my entrance as the beautiful bride. I'll walk up to my husband-to-be and I'll smile at him and I'll give him a loving look...
Sabila: Uh huh...
Me: ...and then I'm gonna slap him so hard across the face that his head will spin and I'll ask: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY HOMING PIGEONS I HAD TO SEND TO FIND YOU? ITS ABOUT FREAKIN' TIME!
Sabila: *doubles over laughing*

Nachley

I love her! She is my favorite bollywood actress. Man! Can the woman dance! Aishwariya is a beginner compared to her! Oh, and the song is amazing also. Rubina and I are obsessed with this song right now. I'm obsessed with how AMAZING she looks after two kids and in her 40's.

Gotta Love Her!

Me: I have to go to an Asian American Journalist Association get together tonight, wanna come with me?
Her: Why are you a part of that...you're not Asian.
Me: Yes I am.
Her: You are?
Me: Uhhh babe...when I check that box, I put Asian...
Her: But you're...
Me: I'm from the Asian continent...Grandpa's Mongolian..Afghani...Pakistan..hellloooo.
Her: Ohhh yeaaaaaaaaa.

Song of the Day

I was staring at the sky, just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on, or something like that
I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality I knew, was a hopeless to be had

But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances
Were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag

Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

And I went crazy again today, looking for a strand to climb
Looking for a little hope
Baby said he couldn't stay, wouldn't put his lips to mine,
And a fail to kiss is a fail to cope

I said, 'Honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified
Come on put a little love here in my void,' he said
'It's all in your head,' and I said, 'So's everything'
But he didn't get it I thought he was a man
But he was just a little boy

Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

--Fiona Apple--
"Paper Bag"

Weeeeeeee!

Rubina_is_back_in_DC_tonight!

Enough said.

Classic

KHANjitsu: a brand of martial arts incorporating household items like throw cushions and spatulas.
--sabila--

Typical Sisters

*Phone rings*

Sashi: Hey
Mari: So, I'm at work but I gotta tell you this story...
Sashi: Okay.
Mari: These two women came in...sisters...really old...like in their 70's. One of them supposedly wrote a bad check from an account they both share. And they are sitting in front of me yelling at each other...and telling each other they have no idea why they interact...one of 'em is telling the other that she never wants to talk to her again...and they're fighting and all that...and I'm sitting there wide-eyed..like, whoa! Then as one of 'em walks out to leave and the other follows and simply asks where they're going for lunch. And the whole time I'm thinking...that is SOoooo me and Sashi!
Sashi: Haha. Perfect.
Mari: Heard the job thing worked out.
Sashi: Yea, I start February 11th.
Mari: Good, this year you can finally get me a birthday present. Okay I gotta go but just wanted to tell you I love you and I miss you and...Go Giants!
Sashi: WHAT? Go Pats!
Mari: WHAT? Go Giants!
Sashi: Dude! When the hell did the Giants become your team? When the hell did we ever live in New York?
Mari: When the hell did you ever live in Boston?
Sashi: Uhhhhh...*mental crickets*
Mari: Exactly! Go Giants!
Sashi: Go Pats!
Mari: I gotta get back to work. Go Giants!
Sashi: Okay. I love you and I miss you. Go Pats!
Mari: I love you and I miss you too. Go Giants!

*Hangs up on me before I can respond*

My Prayer for Everyone

If its good for you, may God bring it close to you. If its bad for you, may God take it far away from you.

Amen.

GAME ON!

"So, I went back to Maryland for the day yesterday. And I brought something back with me:

Tekken.

Therefore, I have exactly 3 words for you-

Bring It Bitch.

Love, -Husband"

(Tom)

Home. Where I wanted to go.

I miss home tonight. I'm homesick.
I miss Baba, Mom, Ammi, Shawn, Mari, Zesh, Sarvat, Sunny...I miss everyone tonight.
Its time to plan a trip to Arizona.

Nostalgia. 5 years ago.

Aw man! Nostalgia when I was watching the video to this song. We danced away on this song to Zeshan and Sarvat's wedding...all the siblings. It was their wedding dancing anthem. So much fun. I miss them all right now. I wish we were back at their wedding dancing away...

Say Shava Shava!

Hideously Hideous Sweater

What happens when you put two women who have no inside voice and filters in the same room? Let me give you lovely chickadees a taste of what its like when Kita and I are around each other.

We arrived at Zaytinya to meet Stefan, Kerry and Romy last night around 8 p.m. We proceeded to the bar area, which had people packed in there like sardines and loud music playing where Kita and I had to scream at each other to have a conversation. We were standing around the first table on the left keeping an eye on the door for Stefan. A blond sits down at the table, obviously waiting for someone. She was sitting right next to where we were standing.

About 10 minutes later a man walks in the door. This man had on an over-sized sweater with white triangles that went around the stomach area. Huge triangles. Kita and I saw him walk in and I screamed, "OH MY GAWD. THAT IS AN UGLY SWEATER'. Kita says, "YEA THAT THING IS HIDEOUS."

All of a sudden we notice that the man waves towards where we were standing. SHIT! He was there meeting the blond sitting at the table.

I turn towards Kita and all I hear her say is, 'And its now time to move to the other side." She starts walking away. I muttered a 'shit' under my breath and continued to follow her, ducking like I was a bandit on the run. We got to the other side, LAUGHING our asses off wondering if that blond heard us.

Classic classic classic moment!

Of course we pointed the hideous sweater guy out to the rest of the crew when the arrived. They concurred...it was, in fact, a hideously hideous (did I mention that it was hideous?) sweater.

Ah yes, Kita said she'll be back Feb. 8 weekend (if I decide not to go to NYC) and she and I are going sweater shopping.

*Grins*

...

I always listen to this song when I miss God.



ye zamiin jab na thii, ye jahaaN jab na thaa
chaaNd suraj na the, aasmaaN jab na thaa
raaz-e-haq bhii kisii par ayaaN jab na thaa
jab na thaa kuch yahaaN, thaa magar tuu hi tuu

The time when there was neither land nor the world
nor moon, sun or the sky,
[and] when truth was not known to anyone.
At that time there was nothing except you.

pahuNche meraaj meN arsh tak Mustafaa
jab na maabuud-o-bande meN pardaa rahaa
tab malaaik ne Hazrat se chhup kar kahaa
saarii maKhluuq meN haq-numaa tuu hii tuu

When Mustafa (another name of Prophet Muhammad) ascended to heavens
[and] when there was no veil between the master and the servant.
Then the angels said secretly to the Prophet
that of all the creations, only he was truth-like.

kyuuN piyaa ibn-e-Haider ne jaam-e-fanaa?
Khaal khichvaa’ii Tabrez ne kyuuN bhalaa?
daar par chaRh kar Mansoor ne kyaa kahaa?
sab banaa ke khilone rahaa tuu hii tuu

Why the son of Haider drank the cup of annihilation?
Why Tabrez agreed to be skinned alive?
What Mansoor said on the gallows?
After making all these toys, you remained the same.

Khaaliq-e-kul hai tuu ismeN kyaa guftuguu
saare aalam ko hai teri hi justujuu
teri jalvaagarii hai ayaaN chahaar-suu
laa shariikaa lahuu, maalik-e-mulk tuu

There is no argument that you are the master of all
[and] the whole world pines for you.
Your splendor is obvious everywhere
No one can be associated to you, you are the master of the world.

har shai tere jamaal kii aaiinaa-daar hai
har shai pukaartii hai tuu parvardigaar hai

Every creation reflect your glory
all creations chant that you are the Lord.

terii rabuubiyat kii adaa ko kamaal hai
tuu rabb-e-qaaynaat hai, tuu laa-zavaal hai

The beauty of your Lordship is perfect
you are the Lord of the Universe, you are without decline.

tuu jo har aan nayii shaan dikhaa detaa hai
diidaa-e-shauq ko hairaaan banaa detaa hai
Daalii Daalii terii takhliiq ke gun gaatii hai
pattaa pattaa terii qudrat kaa pataa detaa hai

You, the one who glows with new radiance every moment
[and] perplex the yearning eyes.
All the branches [of trees] sing praise of your creation
[and] all the leaves lead to your omnipotence.

laa ilaahaa terii shaan yaa! vaadahuu
tuu Khayaal-o-tajassus, tuu hii aarzuu
aaNkh kii roshnii, dil kii aavaaz
thaa bhii tuu, hai bhii tuu, hogaa bhii tuu

There is no one like you and that is your grandeur, O! the unique one
you are the imagination and inquisitiveness, you are the wish
you are the light [and] the voice of heart
you were there, you are there and you will be there.

--Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan--

Selfish

I can't stop crying. My heart aches today and I feel beaten down...so weary...so lost. She told me to give up. I refuse. When life beats me down like this all I can do is pray and hope that God listens. I'm such a selfish human being. I forget Him in good times, and only remember in my bad times. I hope He can forgive me for my selfishness...my eyes hurt.

2 Hour Phone Therapy with my Best Girl

I swear I had a life before you. I just can't remember what I did.
--Rubina--

I swear this girl and I were sisters in another life. I dreamt last night that she came back to D.C. I saw her same smug grin that she always has on her face whenever she walks to meet me at Starbucks. I missed her so much. I woke up so weary today...so sad. Then my phone rang early in the morning and I heard her familiar voice state simply, 'Sasha?' and all I could let out was, 'Oh my God, RUBINA!' ... We talked and talked and I just wanted to take her voice in. I cried and she comforted me like she always does. I told her I hadn't been to Sheesha Palace since I got back because it just doesn't feel right going there without her. She told me that she wishes more than anything we were sitting together talking away. She and I never run out of things to say. She told me that all she has been doing is shopping for me and her family to feel some sort of connection to people. I told her that I thought she forgot about me. Good God, did I get a yelling for that!

I told her that I hadn't seen her since December 18 and its almost February. How crazy is that? We would constantly talk about it but this is ridiculous. I told her that I feel so incomplete with her and my Mom and Grandma being so far away. My mom even sent me a text last night telling me she's ready to come back.

Its time for my women to come home...

Never...

...was there a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.

Cuteness...I think I love the nerd in him

I Loved Alone

From childhood's hour I have not been

As others were; I have not seen

As others saw; I could not bring

My passions from a common spring.

From the same source I have not taken

My sorrow; I could not awaken

My heart to joy at the same tone;

And all I loved, I loved alone.

--Edgar Allen Poe--

Song of the Month

How the Male and Female Species are Alike

"Honey, I carry a condom in my wallet all the time...you never know when you're gonna get lucky."
--female friend--

Happy Birthday Madiha

Bitches.. I organized all of you all's b'days.. so u better fucking come to mine... and pay me back for all the time and money I have spent pretending to be your friend. I have gotten many of you a lot of ass by introducing you to my single friends and if not that, you have had so much free booze on account of me.. and if not that.. I have always manned up even on my laziest night to paint the town red with you assholes.. so if you still want your nuts attached to your body and if you don't want to me to set u on fire... [End 0f Quote] - Madiha. 4:33pm Sunday, Janurary 13th 2008.

(Evite sent out for Madiha's birthday to everyone)

Ben

I stepped out of the train in a horrible mood. I was angry at everybody around me, even the faces I encountered at every stop. I hated them and wanted to tell them why I hated them...but alas, I kept walking. I was taking deep breaths because I knew I would start crying soon. I was dreading walking in that office. I hated the first week filled with snooty attitude and belittling. I hated her and I hated that I had to see her or run into her again. A co-worker had assured me that half of the office felt that way about her and that I wasn't delusional in my assessment of her. Still, I'm not good at confrontations. I hate them and I avoid them and I lose sleep if I've had one and I lose sleep if I know I'm going to have one. I hate them. I hate it, hate it, hate it.

I walked towards the escalator and saw a woman with a walker asking those around her if there was an elevator. She had short snow white hair that had been set in rollers and styled by the hairstylist she went to once a week. Her shoulders were probably too weak to fix her own hair. She was wearing a purple suit and had white joggers and my heart went out to her. I remembered all the sweet old ladies who used to come to my Mom's salon. I loved them. I wanted to hear their stories. I used to ask them how they had met their husbands. I wanted to know how long they were married to the same man. I wanted to know how many kids they had and what they are up to now. I wanted to know where they had traveled. I used to ask them everything and hug them on the way out, excited that I'd get to see them again in a week and continue the conversation. My heart ached for this woman and I just wanted to help her. I wanted to ask her what I could do for her and help her find an elevator.

But I didn't do anything. Like those around me, I just kept walking. I justified it by thinking to myself: Why should I do anything for anyone in this town when nobody has ever done anything for me. Why should I take the time to help someone? I don't owe anyone anything just like nobody owes me anything.

At that moment, I hated myself.

I went to the office and continued my day. Thinking of that lady and wondering if anyone ever stopped to help her. I kept telling myself what a jerk I was and that I should have stopped to help her. I was quiet all day and just wanted to go home.

I finally left at 5 and couldn't wait to walk in my room and get in my pajamas and watch T.V. until it was time to sleep. Another bad day in the Capitol for me and I couldn't wait for it to end, and tomorrow to begin. I put my ipod buds in my ears to drown out the world around me and get lost in some music therapy. I walked to the intersection of 19th and M, towards the Dupont Circle Metro.

I was just halfway in a song, waiting for the light to turn green when I felt a tap on my arm. I looked to my left to see a man, who appeared to be blind, standing there with a cane, looking straight ahead and yet, talking to me. I took my ear buds out to hear what he was saying to me.

Me: Excuse me?
Him: Can you please tell me when the light turns green.
Me: Sure.

I told him when it was time to go. He started walking next to me with his cane. Next thing I knew he had his hand on my shoulder, using me as his guide to cross.

Me: Watch out for the sidewalk.
Him: Thank you.

We continued walking.

His name is Ben and he works for the Special Olympics in Dupont Circle. He lives in Rockville, MD.

Me: Rockville's nice. My friend just moved there, she loves it.
Him: I wouldn't know, I can never find it.
Me: *mental crickets*

I didn't know whether to laugh or not. I waited for him to chuckle, and then I giggled. We continued chatting all the way to the metro. We approached the metro escalators and I told him that we're going to get on the escalator in the middle. He followed me. I got on the escalator first and he was standing on the step behind me. I felt him reach over and touch my head and run his hand on my ponytail. I smiled to myself thinking that if it were anyone else doing that, I would've karate chopped them already, since I don't like anyone but my grandmother to touch my hair. I could tell Ben was curious about who I was or what I looked like. I was immediately embarrassed at the state of my hair, which resembled the state of my mind.

Me: Sorry, I didn't do my hair today, so its a messy ponytail.

Ben just laughed. I told him the escalator was ending. We continued to walk.

Ben: This is where we part. You go left, I go right.
Me: Yep.
Ben: Thank you for your help.
Me: No problem. Next time you're out and about and you hear a girl obnoxiously screaming, 'BEN'... that's me.
Ben: Okay. You stay out of trouble, okay?
Me: I'll try.

He hugged me and we parted.

I got in the train. I was sitting there thinking of what had just happened. I smiled to myself and thought how funny it was that no matter how bad this city has been to me for the last year-and-a-half, no matter how much I’ve cried, no matter how much I’ve been tested, no matter how angry I might get…God just won’t let me be a bad person. I was reminded of the heart I really have. I will never again forget to be kind to those in need.

You just won’t let me be a bad person, will you God? I kept repeating over and over again.

I let the tears finally flow, not caring if anyone was looking at me.

His Classic Quotes of the Night

"The night Dodd dropped out, I got rip roaring drunk in the office and woke up the next morning huddled in a corner with Dodd stickers all over me."

"I crashed the campaign car...yea that sucked...I backed it into an Obama staffers' car."

"Too bad he left the campaign. Told me it was a pleasure working with me and all that. I think he mostly liked me because he thought you and I were sleeping together. Of course I had *NOTHING* to do with that rumor. He thought that I was sleeping with all the interns...I still don't know *WHERE* he *EVER* got that idea from?!"

"I'm glad you made it back safe. I couldn't let anything happen to my arm candy."

Him: I don't know why men don't pick up on you. If I were them I'd be putting ruffies in your drink left and right.
Me: *blink blink*
Him: Well drink up! I haven't got all day!

Rubina

I last saw my sister from another sperm on December 18, 2007 when she drove me to the airport. Of course we were stuck in hellish traffic for about an hour and a half, thankful that we left incredibly early...sang at the top of our voices to Bollywood songs...belly-danced in our seats, which made almost every person in a car that drove by stare at us like we were two girls on speed; we didn't give a shit. We never give a shit what others think, or how loud we laugh, or what we're saying when we're together.

She is my sister. She is my best friend. She is my sanity. She is my philosopher. She is the rhyme and reason that I am still sane in this crazy city. "I will sit on you if you ever tell me you are leaving D.C. I have no idea how I'm going to explain that to my husband, but I will just sit on you so you won't be able to move," she told me when I mentioned to her that I was ready to give up and leave.

Her plane took her to Hong Kong the same day mine brought me to the States. I stepped in the Capitol and she stepped in her hotel on the other side of the globe from me. She won't be back until the end of February.

I am starting to go insane.

I have seen her and spoken to her almost every single day since the day we met. I have gone out for a cup of coffee with her at Starbucks almost every single day. I have spoken to her through every single mode of communication possible. I have stared at hot men with her.

"How U doin?!"

"ooOOOOooh A Man!"

I actually miss the way she rolls her eyes at me and says, "GOOD LORD!"

I would give anything to see her do the *whistles* *twirls finger* that she gives to anyone she thinks is a little cookoo in the head.

I don't even feel like having sheesha right now without her.

Me: You do realize that I'm a little co-dependent on you?
Her: Yea me too.

We are best friends.
We are sisters.
We cry together.
We laugh together.
We disagree together.
We forget about the disagreement the second we see each other.

She gives me her accessories when I need those perfect heels or that perfect clutch for a hot date. She and I will drive around listening to music blaring out of her car pretending like we're 16 again instead of women well in their 30's. I honestly think she is the only person on this planet that I can truly be ... just myself ... with and I know she gets me. Others have spent time with me and haven't gotten me, or still criticize me, but she and I think we must've been sisters in another life because we just understand each other and are so much alike. I've seen tears in her eyes when I've cried. I can't help but cry when I see her cry.

My heart is a little weary today and I wish she was a phone call or a metro ride or a car drive away so I could just sit and chat with her about what's bothering me. I wish she was around to share her wise words with me and comfort me with her presence. That same presence which reminds me that everything will be fine. I wish she was here so that I could just hug her.

She is the only one who understands my vulnerabilities. I need my friend right now.

I miss Rubina.

Sisters

Mari: Ok don't tell Shawn, but I looked at all the pictures and I swear he looks like a younger Kakka. Don't tell him, for the little one will panic.

Sashi: He looks like Papa...and Kakka looks like Papa..therefore he looks like Kakka...joys of being family...we all freakin' look alike...Daddy's sister saw me and said that I looked exactly like Daddy's mom...as do you...which is why you and I look alike. Well, that and...we're sisters.

Mari: You must be the much more refined version, for I suck.

Sashi: Ummm...I'm older...therefore I sag more.

Jay and Heather (Continued)

I just got a message from Jay. Heather told him she loved him. I can't help but gloat and be happy that I was Jay's relationship therapist during that time (yea.. i know, you all can stop laughing now)...but it worked. It really really worked! He actually followed my advice and listened to me and it WORKED, and now they are happy and in love, and I'm so glad that I helped with that!

*crickets chirping*

If they don't invite me to the wedding, I'm going to poke their eyes out with a fork.

Friends...

...will pick you up from the airport at one in the morning, no matter how far away it may be.

...will call you the next day and just by the sound of you voice, go to the pharmacy to get your medication and bring you soup and cough drops and visit with you.

...will text you to ask if you are back in the country and then reply, 'I feel better now.'

I am truly blessed and I thank God for the friends I have in this city.When I walked in my room at 3 a.m. after my trip, I felt so alone. I realize right now, that I am not alone, and that I am surrounded by love and this trip brought out the people who truly care for me and made me realize that I am loved.

Thank You God for the wonderful friends you have given me.

...

HeresUrSign425: have a safe and wonderful trip!

HeresUrSign425: i'll miss youuuuuuuu

WrOngdOerZ: i love you

---

Auto Response from HeresUrSign425: I shall smash your skull like a clam on my tummy!

---

WrOngdOerZ: thank you

WrOngdOerZ: lol

WrOngdOerZ: nice away message after that loving thought.

***

Off to India, Pakistan and London until January 4, 2008.

Cheers!

...

So much rejection in the last year, that I feel numb right now with this one. This does not define me. This does not break me. This does not make me stop climbing that wall, even if its with my nails.

I feel like my nails are bleeding.

Shopping with Rubina

Me: I'm going to return all this stuff tomorrow. *says with resolve*
Her: No you won't. *says with unwavering surity*
Me: No seriously, I'm going to go do it. *strengthens resolve in voice*
Her: No you won't. *smiles smugly*
Me: I am. *insists*
Her: No you won't *even bland tones*
Me: *ponders a moment* But I do look fucking fabulous in this stuff.
Her: Yeah, you do. *shakes head in agreement, still smug*
Me: *Glares at her* I hate you.
Her: *giggles*
Me: *grimaces*

Poem

Roses are red,
But your favorite is yellow.
Your stare makes my insides
Turn into Jell-O

--Tom--

Thank You

For being my friend. Not my friend, but my sister.
For all the times you have sat with me and listened to me.
For all the times you have never criticized me one bit for anything.
For all the times you have simply said to me, "I understand."
For all the times you call me Janna.
For all the time you take out of your day to meet me for a cup of coffee.
For all the times you have not gone home after work and stayed out with me because I needed to talk to you.
For all the times you have read what I wrote and really understood why I wrote it.
For all the times you have told me that I wasn't insane for what I was thinking at any given time.
For all the times you have shed a tear with me when I've cried.
For all the times we have laughed until out bellies ached and we couldn't breathe.
For all the times your funny spontaneous comments have made me almost fall out of my chair.
For all the times having you around has never made me feel, even for a single second, that I am alone in this crazy city.
For all the times you have spent on the phone with me while I cried my heart out.
For all the times you have just simply been there when I needed you, not matter how sick you felt.
For all the times you have called me to say 'Hello', even if you were in other friends' company.
For all the times you have written beautiful words to describe me.
For all the times you understood my vulnerabilities.
For all the times you have sat there and genuinely thanked God that I am in your life.
For all the times that you never told me to stop talking when I discussed issues for long hours with you.
For all the times you have laughed at me when I suffered from short attention span. (FOCUS!)
For all the times you have made me feel like you really got my back.
For all the times you made me feel like I am truly loved.
For all the times that I feel that I can tell you anything and you won't judge me.
For all the times you tell me I'm not wrong for feeling a certain way.
For all the times you say, "My heart just broke for you," and in your eyes I can tell you mean it.
For all the times you let me say, 'I'm coming over,' without any hesitation.
For all the times I can just easily say, 'I'm staying here tonight', knowing you won't mind.
For all the times you make me feel like I have a home here.
For all the times you've put more food on my plate. (HERE! HAVE MORE!)
For all the times you laugh when I harass Gijaji. (Your poor husband. Awww)
For all the times you turn into the wiser older sister and remind me that my day will come.
For all the times you start your sentences with, "Oh my Gawd... let me tell ya," when you're about to tell me something really exciting.
For all the times you make your funny South Park faces, which I laugh at like I'm seeing it for the first time.
For all the times you let me be the silly pubescent girl when I check out guys and just roll your eyes and simply say, 'Oh Lord!"
For all the times that we are so loud and silly when we're walking down the street together that others are laughing at us, and with us and envying our friendship and happiness at that moment.
For all the times your eyes get really big when we check out guys and you simply say, "how YOU doin?!"
For all the deep thoughts and your wise words
For all your knowledge on Islam and Allah and stories which help me and heal me.
For all the times you share your family's stories with me, making me feel like I'm a part of the family.
For every time you say, 'My Mom was asking about you."
For all the time you've welcomed me in your home with your family.
For all the time you told me your cousins were jealous of me because we're such close friends.
For all the times you say, 'I can't believe you will not be here for my birthday or New Years'.
For all the times we've spent together talking non-stop at Sheesha Palace.
For all the times where we never run out of things to say.
For all the times you have shared your friends' stories with me, making me feel like I already know them.
For all the times you make me feel like I'm a part of...you.

For all of that, and more, and for just being you...Thank you.

Rubina Loves Me! She Weavy Weavy Loves Me!

So the situation is this, my girl is leaving Dec 18th for Paki-land. SHE'S LEAVING!!!!! Holy Moly Mother of God HELP.

This is why this proves to be such a problem. My girl is my every day sanity. She's about the only person that I can look at and think to myself "Okay" and breath out a deep sigh. She makes it a habit of stalking me on Facebook, AIM, phone, blackberry and whatever other mode of communication there is. She comes by when we fight so that I can't avoid her (which I wouldn't anyhow) and she goes and buys me Aleve when I'm running a temperature cause she sees it in my eyes and won't take my protests as an excuse. She goes 'awww honey' and means it, and when I cry, she cries with me. She sits and listens to my rantings, she makes me laugh when I don't want to, she makes me cry when I don't think I will. I can be totally silly with her, I can be totally serious with her and I can be totally philosophical when there was no expectancy of being so. Her smile makes me smile, her tears make my eyes wet and there is a sense of total completeness when I'm with her that is rare indeed.

So the big question is, from Dec 18th on till sometime in February, what shall I do? Fuck.

: (

(Courtesy of http://binau.blogspot.com/)


My Response:

I CANNOT believe you leave for Hong Kong THE DAY I get back from my trip...2 months without you to keep me sane. What the hell am I going to do?!??!

=(

FUCK!

I LOVE MY MOM!

Me: I got the package.
Mom: Already?
Me: When was it supposed to come to me?
Mom: They said Friday.
Me: Oh.
Mom: Your facial stuff is in there. Read the instructions carefully, those products are expensive.
Me: Yup.
Mom: I got you two tops to wear on your jeans for your trip. Tell me how you like them, I'll go get more if you need more.
Me: Okay.
Mom: I put a ten dollar bill in there for you for lunch.
Me: *butterflies in belly*
Me: *giggles*

An adventure through stupid land, According to Rubina

The night was unexpected.

She was online with me and suddenly she said she wanted to meet me for coffee...in my brainless eager way I said "SURE!".

Unfortunately I couldn't tear myself away until an hour after she had arrived at Starbucks. When I walked in she looked so comfy cozy in her pink sweater and jeans, legs propped up on a small table, laptop resting on her knees. I felt an instantaneous feeling of comfort.

I ordered us coffee and since there was no seating outside, we walked to the Army/Navy Memorial. Of course she almost broke her foot and spilled hot coffee on herself in the process and while I had a good laugh, she laughed harder when I practically left my shoe in a grate. Okay, this is so typical of the two of us, it's not even funny. As she said later in the night, "seperate we're completely normal people, put us together and we're idiots." SOOOO TRUE!

Anyhow, there in the memorial bundled up in our coats sipping coffee amidst the gurgling of the water fall behind us, I fiilled her in on the happenings in the last few days. I can't seem to not do that w/her. She has to know. After which we howled about men for about a half hour and then we went back to my office so I could finish up some work.

In the meantime, in my office, she proceeded to take lots of pictures of herself on my phone. Why? Cause she does things like this and because 'you never know' when a picture of your hot friend may come in handy.

I gave her a persimmon which she looked at with her head tilted to the side, question in her eyes. "How do I eat this?"

I looked at her. "You're not seriously asking me this question right?"

She blinked again. "Seriously, do I just...bite?"

We ended up splitting it. Then we crammed ourselves into my car.

Destination: Sheesha Palace
Anticipated driving time: 5 minutes
ACTUAL driving time: 20 minutes

Hell. Just hell.

We basically went around in circles, around and around...and around. Fucking we couldn't seem to figure out what hellish exit would take us to Crystal City but we knew that it was THERE...JUST THERE. The Pentagon cop must have seen us twice at least as we zoomed around the loops mindlessly taking any exit willy nilly. Finally genius beside me said, "go towards Reagan."

Okay...again, where? Huh??? WTF!!! ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE????

Now, we're here, only 20 minutes after departing sucking down sheesha at unnatural rates. What's new? This is just another one of our many journey's through stupid land.

What the hell will I do w/o her for a whole 3 months?

--Courtesy of http://binau.blogspot.com/--

Tree

To dream that you are traveling, represents the path toward your life goals. It also parallels your daily routine and the way you progress. If your travels come to an end, then it symbolizes successful completion of your goals.
To dream that you are traveling in a car filled with people, signifies that you will make new and fun friends and exciting adventures.

To see lush green trees in your dream, symbolizes new hopes, growth and desires. It also implies strength and stability. You are concentrating on your own self-development and individuation.

Alone Time

Holy hell! I woke up this morning feeling so incredibly restless and irritated. I tried to figure out what was wrong with me until an hour ago when the realization hit me that I am going stir crazy. I had such a fabulous and wonderful thanksgiving filled with friends and love that I haven't had a single minute alone. Today I am going to take my Economist ... (Ew! George is on the cover, SERIOUSLY...Mr. Palestine? SERIOUSLY???) ... Where was I? Oh yea, I'm going to take my Economist and the book by Elizabeth Gilbert called 'Eat Pray Love', which I've been reading, and just sit and read ALL DAY today. Starbucks in Chinatown on 7th and E will get to know me REALLY well today, as they do every Sunday.

Cheers.

Here's to a day with myself.

Lucky me.

=)

Migraine: Day 2

Migraine Sufferers Have Different Brains

Section of Brain That Processes Pain Thicker in Migraine Sufferers

By Salynn Boyles
WebMD Medical News

Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

Nov. 19, 2007 -- Researchers have identified specific differences in the brains of migraine sufferers linked to the processing of sensory information, including pain.

In earlier research, Harvard Medical School investigators used magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) to show structural differences between the brains of people with and without migraines.

Specifically, the imaging showed thickening in a specific area of the brain related to the communication of sensory processing called the somatosensory cortex (SSC).

It is not clear if migraines cause the brain changes or if the brain differences cause migraines, researcher Nouchine Hadjikhani, MD, of the Martinos Center for Biomedical Imaging at Massachusetts General Hospital tells WebMD.

"That is the big question," she says. "A person could be born with these cortical differences, making them susceptible to migraines later in life. But we just don't know."

Migraines and the Brain

In the newly reported imaging study, researchers compared the brains of 24 people with migraines and 12 people without them. They found that the SSC was an average of 21% thicker in migraine sufferers. The thickness changes were especially pronounced in the part of the SSC related to sensation of the head and face.

Most study participants with migraines had experienced the severe headaches since childhood, suggesting that long-term stimulation of this sensory area of the brain could lead to structural changes, Hadjikhani says.

The study is published in the Nov. 20 online issue of the journal Neurology.

Other studies have also shown differences in cortex thickness in patients with multiple sclerosis and Alzheimer's disease.

But it is also possible that the structural changes precede migraines and actually cause them to occur.

Hadjikhani and colleagues hope to shed light on this 'chicken and egg' conundrum in a much larger study.

Imaging studies on young children who are at high risk for having migraines later in life because their mother or father had them may also help answer the question of which comes first.

"If we already see these changes in children who have never had a headache in their life, that will tell us something," she says.

Whatever the outcome, it is increasingly clear that the brain's sensory processing center plays an important role in migraines.

Treat Migraines Aggressively

It is also now clear that the brains of migraine sufferers are different from those of people without the severe headaches.

In an unrelated study, researcher Mark C. Kruit, MD, and colleagues from Leiden University in the Netherlands identified tiny brain lesions in the brains of a significant percentage of migraine sufferers who underwent MRI.

In an interview with WebMD in 2004, Kruit predicted that the imaging studies would "change the common perception that migraine is a trivial problem with only transient symptoms."

The studies also point to the importance of aggressively treating migraines, Hadjikhani says, to both prevent the headaches from occurring and to manage the pain when they do occur.

She reasons that if frequent migraines cause structural damage to the brain, having fewer migraines and migraines with less intense pain may prevent this damage from happening.

"It is important not to let the pain get out of hand," she says.

Pain: Day 2

Learn About What Happens During a Migraine

Migraine Headache Symptoms

Symptoms vary from person to person and from migraine to migraine. Five phases can often be identified:

• Prodrome: A variety of warnings can come before a migraine. These may consist of a change in mood (for example, feeling “high,” irritable, or depressed) or a subtle change of sensation (for example, a funny taste or smell). Fatigue and muscle tension are also common
  
  
• Aura: This is commonly a visual disturbance that precedes the headache phase. Some migraineurs develop blind spots (called scotomas); see geometric patterns or flashing, colorful lights; or lose vision on one side (hemianopsia).
  
  
• Headache: Although migraine pain usually appears on one side of the head, 30-40% of migraines occur on both sides. Throbbing pain may be present. More than 80% of migraineurs feel nauseated, and some vomit. About 70% become sensitive to light (photophobia) and sound (phonophobia). This phase may last 4-72 hours.
  
  
• Headache termination: Even if untreated, the pain usually goes away with sleep.
  
  
• Postdrome: Other signs of the migraine (for example, inability to eat, problems with concentration, or fatigue) may linger after the pain has disappeared.

God Bless Your Parents!

Me: *walking by noticing the sleek black SUV and sniper guys*
Guy # 1: *gets out of passenger side*
Guy # 2: *gets out of the driver side*
Me: *continues walking*
Me: *stops*
Me: *turns around*
Me: *smiles*
Guy # 1: *smiles*
Me: By the way...
Guy # 1: Yes?
Me: This whole SUV, the outfit, the whole look...
Guy # 1: Yes?
Me: Just wanted to let you know, its sexy as hell.
Guy # 1: oh...Thanks!
Guy # 2: *just standing there grinning*
Me: *turns around*
Me: *continues to walk to Union Station*

Ironic

I used to always walk on the National Mall or go have coffee on the White House lawn whenever I felt down and out here to remind myself why I'm in this city and motivate myself.

Today, I don't want to leave my apartment because going outside and looking at the dome of the Capitol, the senate buildings, Union Station, Chinatown, Dupont...will only remind me of how this city is not letting me be a part of it and I know I'll just cry in public (again).

I don't want to leave my place today.

I feel so beaten down today.

One thing after another.

I can't handle it.

I'm done.

A side of me nobody sees, according to Rubina

The tears came so unexpectedly. One minute they weren’t there, the next they shimmered like unexpected guests in her eyes.

I had been sitting there with her for awhile, our talk familiar. We could revisit the same topic 100,000 times yet it never seemed enough. We knew it was cathartic to us, even if it wasn’t particularly useful. Maybe the tears weren’t so startling. Maybe we both knew that they needed to come.

I should have expected them now that I think about it since from the second I saw her standing outside my office, I immediately noted how lonely she looked standing in the middle of the sidewalk giving me a weak smile. She told me that she was tired from walking around the city all day showing her guest around town yet there was more…something about those saucer sized eyes of her. They not only reflected her exhaustion but a certain weariness of the soul, her sorrow, her repressed sadness.

We grabbed coffee, found seats outside in the beautiful warmish/coolish evening, settling down for a good chat. She spoke of being content, of being glad with all that had transpired in the last few days. She said that she had come to a certain understanding and that she was good. I believed her this time. I knew she was good and that even if the enormity of what had happened hadn’t yet settled in, it would and soon. She needed that moment to sit and talk about it, to ponder and mull and figure things out. I was happy to be there for her.

Her eyes are truly the mirrors of her soul. Those eyes of hers…those damn eyes…they spoke volumes of her inner struggles and pains. And when the tears fell, like mercury glittering in the light of the street lamps, her head tipped forward to an angle so that they did not run down her cheeks, her index finger knuckle swiping them away as if they didn’t belong there, that they were unwanted.

The tears fell only for seconds, moments even. Yet in those moments, she was more vulnerable than any other moments that we’ve shared together. Of course there were plenty of such similar instances where I saw the soft vulnerability show itself, peaking around the corner of her exaggerated laughter, loud voice, silly bantering but this time it was different. The shadows of night half hid her face and to me, she looked so lost and exposed with her long hair pulled back into a ponytail. My heart broke for her. She’s a woman, a woman learns to accept and push back the pain and smile through it and even wish well those who caused her nothing but unimaginable heartache."

One day, her tears will be rewarded, every single last one of them. Allah will send to her someone who deserves the unbelievable woman that she is and he will be the man who looks at her and murmurs to himself, "I'm the luckiest SOB on earth." And I know without a doubt, he will be.

My Gay Muslim Husband

WrOngdOerZ: *poke*
WrOngdOerZ: *poke*
WrOngdOerZ: *poke*
WrOngdOerZ: *poke*
HeresUrSign425: *heehee!*
HeresUrSign425: *heehee!*
HeresUrSign425: *heehee!*
HeresUrSign425: *heehee!*
HeresUrSign425: how are you, my love??
WrOngdOerZ: *blows hearts in the air*
WrOngdOerZ: *butterflies in belly*
WrOngdOerZ: *thinking of your face*
WrOngdOerZ: *smiles*
WrOngdOerZ: *missing you*
HeresUrSign425: awww
HeresUrSign425: *smiles, stares longingly...*
HeresUrSign425: BAM! *OUCH!!!*
HeresUrSign425: one of your hearts hit me in the eye
WrOngdOerZ: *walks up and kisses your eye*
WrOngdOerZ: *muah*
HeresUrSign425: hehe awww
WrOngdOerZ: tee hee
WrOngdOerZ: *giggles*
WrOngdOerZ: *giggles*
WrOngdOerZ: i wuv youuuuuuuuuuuuuu
WrOngdOerZ: *blink blink blink blink*
HeresUrSign425: i love you tooooooooooooo
WrOngdOerZ: *blink*
WrOngdOerZ: *blink*
HeresUrSign425: haha are you batting your eyes at me?
WrOngdOerZ: *walks up to you*
WrOngdOerZ: *blink*
WrOngdOerZ: *blink*
WrOngdOerZ: *smiles*
HeresUrSign425: oh my God....
HeresUrSign425: I'm cured!
HeresUrSign425: I'm in love with a girl!
WrOngdOerZ: *reaches up*
WrOngdOerZ: *puts hand back*
WrOngdOerZ: BITCH SLAPS YOUR HEAD...
WrOngdOerZ: where the HELL have you been!
WrOngdOerZ: and why have you ignored me?
HeresUrSign425: hell hath no fury...

Oh Mushy! Boy Blue! Flower Boy!

LOVE LOVE LOVE this weeks' cover of my Economist!

...

This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath...

-Regina Spektor-

...

i have nothing to say. disappearing for a bit.

ciao.

...

This is what they used it for...

Here's the original with subtitles.

This has always been my song.

The narcissistic freak in me pretends that this song was written especially for her. This is my song.
It has always been my song. I can never get sick of it.

We're Washingtonians!

WOO HOO! Its official! Lolita and I are D.C. residents.

Ode to Regina

THE COOLEST BESTEST AND GREATEST mail carrier.

I LOVE HER!

She went to the depths of hell and back and FOUND my package in a sweet little corner...crying, waiting for me.

I LOVE HER!

I HAVE MY PASSPORT!

PRAISE GOD!

gut-wrenching-heart-beating-uneasy-feeling thought of the day

Dude...Where's my passport??!?!!

=|

Lies

Him: I'm ok. You?
Me: I'm fantastic!

No Food for 8 Hours Coma

*walking down the street*
Her: So he said...
Me: What did he say?
Her: HE said...
Me: OMG look at that!! *Points in excitement*
Her: *sigh*
Me: Okay so what did he say?
Her: He said...
Me: Wow, check that out...*points at something else*
Her: *bigger badder sigh* You've got ADD
Me: I do not!
Her: Yes you do.
Me: I so do...oh wow, look at that...
Her: *shakes head and keeps walking*

(Rubina found out first hand what happens when I don't eat on time)

Bloody Hell!

Are you Kidding me?

Eid Cuteness!

I saw her at the Eid event at ASU. She made me stop in my tracks. "OH MY GAWD! YOU ARE SO ADORABLE! I LOVE YOUR OUTFIT!" She just stared at me with those doe eyes as if to say, 'Who are you and why are you yelling at me?"

Her Mother just stood there smiling. I sat down and said to her, "I love your outfit." She looked at her dress and pointed at it and just twirled in it. My Mom and I were just giggling at this cute display of adorableness!

I had butterflies in my belly. I hoped that one day God will bless me with a daughter like that. Then I wondered if I'll ever be blessed with a daughter like that? And I almost felt sad.

I later saw that little doll with her Dad. She waved at me again as I walked by. I was so giddy that she remembered me.

...

For the first time ever, I'm not looking forward to going back to D.C. I feel like a kid on the first day of school. I don't want to go right now. I know I'll go back to the same mental exhaustion that has become my life there. I will go back to trying and not getting anywhere. I can't stop crying. I feel stressed and I'm dreading my flight tomorrow. I feel miserable inside. I feel like I have nothing to go back to right now. Nothing.

Happy Eid everyone.

Neeraj's Big 30th Birthday Party

Dear All,

God Dammit It Was a Good Time!

First of all to the people that organized it 'cause I know it ain't easy to throw me a surprise party: Elena, Morgan & Chris (love the punch), Madiha, Melinda

Thank you all for the surprise party and those who missed it .... man did you pick the wrong party to miss! I mean where will you find:

- Madiha's lost world! Well, everything !!! Shoes ended up in NYC the next day, earrings in Pentagon City and let's not mention what else she lost.
- Jane passed out after a shot for 90% of the time and then crawling into a car.
- Joe pissed in his bed. He says someone poured water... but none of us did it ...so...
- Smriti's drunk flirtatious rampage
- Yes, I was WASTED...and walked home wasted!
- Me batting with a shovel
- Vinod was meditating on the side of the house
- Elena looking for a motorboat operator.
- Rupendra ..I don't know what happened to him after flip cup...
- Sasha's failed attempt to escape three times.
- Samir's short lived modeling profession
- Nubha's lesbian experience
- Jen and Arsalan dressed up for the occasion. If Jen passed out with her clothes on.. you know it was a party.

Halloween is next!

Love,

Neeraj

Ouch!

Mom: You need to get rid of this hard exterior shell you carry with you everywhere. That's why men don't talk to you or approach you.
Me: :::Blinks:::
Mom: What?
Me: I cannot believe those words came out of your mouth. My friends say that to me, I can't believe my mother is saying the same thing.
Mom: Well its true.

I Absolutely Love...

going to Einstein Bros. Bagels with my Mom early in the morning. We sit there in our pajamas having a hot cup of Vanilla Hazelnut coffee, discussing things around us and just enjoying each others' company early in the morning.

Home

I was up at 2:30 a.m. to get ready to head home. Yang is in D.C. for the week and was kind enough to take me to the airport bright and early at 5:00 a.m. My flight left at 6:30 a.m. I had given my information to Sarvat after realizing that *nobody* knew where I was going to be and maybe it was a good idea to let at least one family member know where I'm disappearing to...just in case. I have no idea why I have such lousy luck in flights from Arizona to D.C. The last 3 flights have found me stuck in the middle seat, even after I requested an isle seat, and listening to a kid screaming almost the whole flight. I finally made it to Phoenix after a connection in Cincinnati. They even had the new Harry Potter movie on the way to Phoenix. Woo Hoo. Of course I paid attention for the first 5 minutes in the movie and then fell asleep.

I got to Phoenix airport and sent a text to Sarvat to let her know I get there safe. I then text my Mom letting her know that my phone was off because the battery had died.

*cheeky*

I took a cab from the airport and was on the phone with Mom while the taxi was making its way to the office. I told her that I had just walked into the office and had to hung up. I was cursing the cab rates in Phoenix but didn't care. I walked into Baba's office and was thankful that there were no patients. The front was deserted which gave me time to walk through the back door without being noticed. Mom was sitting up front, I just walked to the front and said, 'ok what were you saying about tomorrow?'and my mom's jaw was on the floor. She was in such shock that I was standing there. After hangin' out with the office staff Mom and I drove home to surprise Grandma.

My initial plan was to go home but I didn't have the code to the gates into the neighborhood so I decided to change my plan and go to the office, knowing I will have a car from there.

I parked the car in the garage and walked to the kitchen. Grandma was in the kitchen cooking and I walked in simply stating, 'What are you cooking? I'm starving'. Of course her jaw hit the floor also and she said exactly what I predicted: SHA! She was so happy.

I went out to lunch with Mom and the office staff and on the way back was laughing at being home because Mom told me to stop at the bank and was cursing why I was driving because I couldn't focus because of my tiredness.

I parked the car in the garage and noticed that Baba was home. I walked around the house and couldn't find him. Then I heard Baba walk in the house. I simply walked up to him and just started discussing paperwork for my passport with him. He was staring at me like a deer in headlights. He asked me why Mom had said that I couldn't make it. I said because that's what I wanted her to believe and that I had already booked my flight here though I said I couldn't make it. He simply smiled and hugged me and said he was glad I was here.

Shawn is not home as of yet. He has no clue I'm here. I just spoke to him on AIM, he and Alice are in the library at ASU.

I napped in my room this evening. I was woken up by Mom telling me that dinner was almost ready. Mom and I walked to the backyard in the grassy area. I plopped down in the grass and continued napping there for another 10 minutes before going inside for dinner. It was nice to listen to the birds, have peace and quiet and just sit in my own backyard.

I haven't been home since March. I missed home. I missed just being ... home. I missed my Grandmother, Mom and Baba and Shawn. I couldn't stand spending Eid without them this year.

I still have to take care of clips every morning for the campaign. This means getting up early (5:00 a.m. in D.C) but since I'm three hours behind, I'm going to get up at 2:30 to get the clips together and have to have e-mails sent out by 4:30 a.m. Then I can sleep in again and this time not have to be anywhere.

Dear World:
Go to hell for all I care right now. I'm home with family this week.
Cheers,
Me

HOMESICK!

Tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. Phoenix time, my flight will land at Sky Harbor Airport. I will get in a cab and go straight to Baba's office. My family has no idea I'm surprising them.

I can't wait!

Discovery Channel

Tom: I saw him corner you and I was thinking: Oh brother! Here we go.
Josh: Yea, I was like, Get the hell away from her.
Tom: Watching men trying to pick up on you is like an episode from the Discovery Channel: The alpha male approaches the superior female, watch how he is immediately rejected!

My Mom is Sooooo Adorable

"Buy yourself some lunch. From: Ma"

(a note with a 20 dollar bill included in the FedEx package from my Mom)

My Soon-to-be Dating Life

What Kind of Guy Will You Fall For?
	You would fall for the gentleman. Keep an eye out for your love at your next formal or field trip to the opera. Watch out for bad boys who walk on the inside of the curb and don't hold the door for you, and you'll end up with the guy who's suave, sophisticated, and classy through-and-through.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

I Love You Tom!

HeresUrSign425: yeah josh said something about going out to eat w/ people for something-i-can't-pronounce (surprise surprise)-that-deals-with-ramadan (or however you spell it - surprise surprise again...)

HeresUrSign425: i'm the worst muslim wife EVER.

Oui

What City Should You Live In?
	You should live in Paris. The city of lights will appeal to your appreciation of beauty and romance. You are a lover and a poet by nature, and Paris' sensitive charms will be a perfect match for yours.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Dear Weekend: Where Did You Go?

Woke up feeling queasy. .Soooo sleepy. I have a case of the Mondays. Just not motivated. I think I'm getting sick. I need to sleep in. Why can't I sleep in? I'm tired, sooo tired today. I spent Saturday helping her all day, and Sunday helping him all day. I didn't have a singly minute to myself this weekend. I feel like I've been giving and giving and not recharging. I woke up mentally and physically exhausted because I never had *ME* time this weekend. I feel overwhelmed instead of relaxed.

I need an alone day before I lose my mind.

Too late.